Thursday, November 30, 2006
Opera meets rock band, Christmas carols to electric guitars and drums? The real question is, can it be done without sounding like some crazy screamers bashing guitars? Well, the Trans-Siberian Orchestra proves that it can. Seriously, absolutely amazing talent, and a great show that they put on at the Air Canada Centre. I quite enjoyed myself, and the drum solo, be still my beating heart...I believe I fell in love with the drummer. So, incredibly amazing. His drum set was like at least two drum sets put together, and in-between regular beats he would spin his drum stick around in his hand and then hit on beat. I was in complete awe. I do believe I sat there with my mouth open and drool hitting the head of the person below me. And seriously, who cannot like fireballs blowing up behind stage while Christmas carols are being played?
All that to say, Toronto is a crazy place, which I completely love...and want to move to!
For those of you who've never heard the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, I strongly encourage you to look up some of their music, and if by any chance they hit a town near you, it's worth the money and time.
For those of you who remember the video with the house that had flashing Christmas lights to music that crossed the net last year, the music in it is the Tran-Siberian Orchestra.
Seriously, take a minute, visit their website, and hear some of their amazing music:
Trans-Siberian Orchestra Link
All that to say, Toronto is a crazy place, which I completely love...and want to move to!
For those of you who've never heard the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, I strongly encourage you to look up some of their music, and if by any chance they hit a town near you, it's worth the money and time.
For those of you who remember the video with the house that had flashing Christmas lights to music that crossed the net last year, the music in it is the Tran-Siberian Orchestra.
Seriously, take a minute, visit their website, and hear some of their amazing music:
Trans-Siberian Orchestra Link
Labels: Ramblings
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I think I am getting sick. Yes, that is correct...sick. My throat is all scratchy this morning, and my eyes are almost lost behind the big blue bags underneath them. It's like slits of brown across my face. I feel tired...I want to crawl into my warm bed, with my feather duvet and just sleep for many days while eating toast with butter and sugar on top and drinking sprite (or whatever it is that you drink when you're sick).
On an exciting note...and don't let the bagged look fool you...I get to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra tonight. I am told it is something you should not miss, and your life is incomplete without. I have to sadly admit I have never really even heard of them up until about a month ago. So, should be some good times happening in Toronto tonight. That's if my sick head doesn't fall off first, which would be kind of awkward, because it scares people when you sit beside them and hold your head up with your hands so your head can see the stage.
I have realized once again, that I am a very sarcastic person. Kevin used to tell me that I was the most sarcastic person he'd met. I think I've toned it down a bit over the years...with all my incredible maturity and stuff (lol)...but still...Mary is very sarcastic. Mary is also sick, and Mary wants to go home and sleep.
Apparently talking about yourself in third person means you are cocky...hmmm, apparently Mary is a sick cocky abouttoattendtheSiberianOrchestra girl.
On an exciting note...and don't let the bagged look fool you...I get to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra tonight. I am told it is something you should not miss, and your life is incomplete without. I have to sadly admit I have never really even heard of them up until about a month ago. So, should be some good times happening in Toronto tonight. That's if my sick head doesn't fall off first, which would be kind of awkward, because it scares people when you sit beside them and hold your head up with your hands so your head can see the stage.
I have realized once again, that I am a very sarcastic person. Kevin used to tell me that I was the most sarcastic person he'd met. I think I've toned it down a bit over the years...with all my incredible maturity and stuff (lol)...but still...Mary is very sarcastic. Mary is also sick, and Mary wants to go home and sleep.
Apparently talking about yourself in third person means you are cocky...hmmm, apparently Mary is a sick cocky abouttoattendtheSiberianOrchestra girl.
Labels: Ramblings
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Okay, so studies show that our generation tends to be project orientated. One of the places we see this played out in, is donations and fund raising. That is why the Samaritan's Purse is such a great marketing strategy. What they do is send out their christmas magazine, and break down what things are worth. So, you can buy a goat for a family for $40, or you can build a school for children for $20,000, or equip a medical doctor for $175. Their marketing is brilliant, because they have realized that our generation is project orientated and have catered to that.
I mean, you can give them $40, and just put it in a pot...or you can buy a goat, that is going to give a family milk for up to 5 years.
Brilliant I tell you.
I mean, you can give them $40, and just put it in a pot...or you can buy a goat, that is going to give a family milk for up to 5 years.
Brilliant I tell you.
Labels: Ramblings
When a song like this plays on your ipod:
The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little pray for you
While combing my hair now,
And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you
Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only meen heartbreak for me.
I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you.
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.
Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me.
I say a little prayer for you
I say a little prayer for you
My darling believe me, ( beleive me)
For me there is no one but you!
Please love me too (answer his pray)
And I'm in love with you (answer his pray)
Answer my prayer now babe (answer his pray)
Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me (oooooooooh)
Followed by the Proclaimers "I Would Walk 500 Miles"
The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little pray for you
While combing my hair now,
And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you
Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only meen heartbreak for me.
I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you.
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.
Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me.
I say a little prayer for you
I say a little prayer for you
My darling believe me, ( beleive me)
For me there is no one but you!
Please love me too (answer his pray)
And I'm in love with you (answer his pray)
Answer my prayer now babe (answer his pray)
Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me (oooooooooh)
Followed by the Proclaimers "I Would Walk 500 Miles"
Labels: Ramblings
So, if you want to feel slightly depressed and overweight...this is what you do. Decide to look up your favourite fast food meal on your fast food place website, and find out how many calories you are consuming when you eat there. For me, my fast food place is Wendy's...I generally get the number one combo, and sometimes as of late the number two, I always drink it with a normal coke. I consume approximately 1,260-1,385 calories. The french fries alone are 560 calories. 560 calories, just for french fries.
I now feel fat and I want fries :)
For more depressing facts, visit your local fast food nutrition information:
Wendy's Nutrition Link
McDonalds Nutrition Link
Taco Bell Nutrition Link
I now feel fat and I want fries :)
For more depressing facts, visit your local fast food nutrition information:
Wendy's Nutrition Link
McDonalds Nutrition Link
Taco Bell Nutrition Link
Labels: Health...or lack thereof
Monday, November 27, 2006
Do you ever feel that you are living your life on pause? Almost as if you are existing in the present, but you are constantly waiting for the next stage of life. It's not that you necessarly aren't happy with where you are at in this moment, it's just that you're always talking about the next thing...whether it be that trip you want to make, travelling the world, having a serious relationship, getting married, going back to school, making a career change, developing a closer relationship with God, etc. Suddenly, one day you are sitting working late, and you realize that your head isn't so much in there here and now, it's in the next 5-10 years. You've stopped really living the moment, you're living your future.
I do this. I live with the future always on my mind, and the next step being anticipated. Instead of being content with where I am now, or truly enjoying each moment that I am given, I jump ahead of myself. I used to be a five-year plan kind of girl, I knew what was happening, where I was going, and I liked it that way. Then God took that away from me, and I was left unsure because I had lost my security blanket. I'm learning to live in the moment, to enjoy today's sunset, the great song that I heard on the radio today, the fact that I get to go home and have devos and develop a deeper relationship with God. I'm trying to take a breath, one step back, and just reflect on today, not tomorrow, not my five-year plan (which doesn't exist anymore).
Long and short of it...I'm learning to live again.
I do this. I live with the future always on my mind, and the next step being anticipated. Instead of being content with where I am now, or truly enjoying each moment that I am given, I jump ahead of myself. I used to be a five-year plan kind of girl, I knew what was happening, where I was going, and I liked it that way. Then God took that away from me, and I was left unsure because I had lost my security blanket. I'm learning to live in the moment, to enjoy today's sunset, the great song that I heard on the radio today, the fact that I get to go home and have devos and develop a deeper relationship with God. I'm trying to take a breath, one step back, and just reflect on today, not tomorrow, not my five-year plan (which doesn't exist anymore).
Long and short of it...I'm learning to live again.
Do you know that we have squeegee people in London, who crouch besides light posts, and then when you least expect it jump out wanting to clean your window. I mean, I've seen these people in Ecuador and Mexico, but not London...I didn't even know it was legal. Then again, it could be completely not legal and they do it anyways.
You know what makes me smile: Opening up the fridge and seeing roast, turkey, potatoes, pie...and so forth. I think my fridge is going to have a mental breakdown because it's not sure how to keep so much food cold.
I got to talk to Jello last night...can I just say, "It's been way to long." She had a wonderful trip, is now a seasoned traveller with friends all over the world (I'm going to have to cash in on that benefit:).
Anyhow, crazy day for me...hope everyone enjoys their Monday...quote for the day:
"Relationships don't thrive because the guilty are punished, but because the innocent are merciful."
You know what makes me smile: Opening up the fridge and seeing roast, turkey, potatoes, pie...and so forth. I think my fridge is going to have a mental breakdown because it's not sure how to keep so much food cold.
I got to talk to Jello last night...can I just say, "It's been way to long." She had a wonderful trip, is now a seasoned traveller with friends all over the world (I'm going to have to cash in on that benefit:).
Anyhow, crazy day for me...hope everyone enjoys their Monday...quote for the day:
"Relationships don't thrive because the guilty are punished, but because the innocent are merciful."
Labels: Ramblings
Sunday, November 26, 2006
The pastor asked this from the pulpit this morning. How did you come to church this morning? Did you just wake up, go through your morning routine and show up at church? I know I did this morning, and if I think about it, I do that most Sunday mornings. I get up, show up, and expect to be ministered to. And when I don't get something out of the service, I blame the pastor, or the worship team, or get frusterated with how God seems so distant. My expectations of God and other people, are a million times higher then my expectations of myself.
Labels: Spiritual
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Anyone who knows me in real life will find that subject line laughable, but it's quite true. By 10:30 this morning I had a turkey ready to go in the oven, a roast ready to go in the crock pot, two pies made, an apple dessert made, and everything ready for mashed potatoes, vegtables, stuffing, and garlic bread. I don't know what is wrong with me, perhaps I got hit in the head with a soccer ball and it did more damage then I could of imagined.
You see, I had been craving turkey for about two weeks now, and when I was talking to my mom last night she told me she had a turkey in the freezer and I could make it if I wanted to. So, of course I jumped at the offer...because I want turkey. Now the waiting process begins, in which the house smells amazing, but the food is still cooking.
I got up at 6:00 this morning to bring Jordan to his hockey game. One does not truly understand cold until they have sat in an arena, on a plastic bench, at 6:00 in the morning to watch a hockey game. I believe the cold will be inside me for a week or so.
Anyhow, it's Saturday, the house smells amazing, the sun is out, and I think i am going to go for a run!
You see, I had been craving turkey for about two weeks now, and when I was talking to my mom last night she told me she had a turkey in the freezer and I could make it if I wanted to. So, of course I jumped at the offer...because I want turkey. Now the waiting process begins, in which the house smells amazing, but the food is still cooking.
I got up at 6:00 this morning to bring Jordan to his hockey game. One does not truly understand cold until they have sat in an arena, on a plastic bench, at 6:00 in the morning to watch a hockey game. I believe the cold will be inside me for a week or so.
Anyhow, it's Saturday, the house smells amazing, the sun is out, and I think i am going to go for a run!
Labels: Ramblings
Friday, November 24, 2006
I have come to the conclusion (after much thought and debate of course) that I am very easily amused. I believe I may be a five-year-old trapped in a twenty-year-old body. Which is kind of weird, in a rather disturbing type of way.
You see, I had an odd type of morbid humour. Now, this humour type has gotten me into warm water at times. The other day I was driving to Bible study with this guy named Derek (since we both live on the same side of the city), and he told me this story in which something died...and I laughed. I tried not to, I promise...but I couldn't help it. My reasoning is...if you don't laugh, then you'll cry...so I laugh. He kind of looked at me weird...and then scrunched himself up against the door as if he was trying to get away from me...I have no idea why.
The other day, I bought Steve a pink frilly birthday card with a kitten on the front wearing a crown...that said something along the lines of "Happy birthday to a beautiful princess." And it made me laugh...because who does that...who sends a little girl card to a grown man for his birthday?
The video links I posted the other day on my blog...then one with the kid falling out of the roller coaster ride. I can't stop laughing when I watch that...it's not even that funny but it just cracks me up...I laugh until I can't breathe, and then I laugh some more.
Of course, the person I blame for my odd sense of humour is my dad...we both do this thing where someone will be talking, and we imagine something happening...and suddenly we're having an impossible time keeping a straight face. Or, someone tells a joke, we start laughing...and then we can't stop. We get mad at ourselves, try to control it...but we can't. It get's quite embaressing sometimes.
So yeah...I am easily amused.
You see, I had an odd type of morbid humour. Now, this humour type has gotten me into warm water at times. The other day I was driving to Bible study with this guy named Derek (since we both live on the same side of the city), and he told me this story in which something died...and I laughed. I tried not to, I promise...but I couldn't help it. My reasoning is...if you don't laugh, then you'll cry...so I laugh. He kind of looked at me weird...and then scrunched himself up against the door as if he was trying to get away from me...I have no idea why.
The other day, I bought Steve a pink frilly birthday card with a kitten on the front wearing a crown...that said something along the lines of "Happy birthday to a beautiful princess." And it made me laugh...because who does that...who sends a little girl card to a grown man for his birthday?
The video links I posted the other day on my blog...then one with the kid falling out of the roller coaster ride. I can't stop laughing when I watch that...it's not even that funny but it just cracks me up...I laugh until I can't breathe, and then I laugh some more.
Of course, the person I blame for my odd sense of humour is my dad...we both do this thing where someone will be talking, and we imagine something happening...and suddenly we're having an impossible time keeping a straight face. Or, someone tells a joke, we start laughing...and then we can't stop. We get mad at ourselves, try to control it...but we can't. It get's quite embaressing sometimes.
So yeah...I am easily amused.
Labels: Humour
Everyone can now release the deep breath they've been holding all weekend, because it's Friday, and the weekend is upon us. I am still craving turkey, and that hasn't let up (I am blaming it on the American Thanksgiving which was yesterday). I had a dream last night from the past...I find these dreams always make you wake up, scrunch your face as you wonder, "Why did I dream that," and then hope that dreams are not a reflection of what you're thinking.
I'm going home this weekend...to do some christmas decorating, and chill out while not having to cook. Maybe I can convince my mom to make a turkey!!
On a really exciting note: JELLO IS HOME FROM HER MISSION TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am definately so excited, I can't wait to see her, and have a like five hour phone conversation with her to catch up on everything that's happened in the last 2+ months. Unfortunately, I am not home until Saturday night, so I won't get to talk to her right away....sniff sniff.
Anyhow, the office is completely empty as various people have vanished into thin air. I'm about to start my day. Enjoy the weekend folks!!
I'm going home this weekend...to do some christmas decorating, and chill out while not having to cook. Maybe I can convince my mom to make a turkey!!
On a really exciting note: JELLO IS HOME FROM HER MISSION TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am definately so excited, I can't wait to see her, and have a like five hour phone conversation with her to catch up on everything that's happened in the last 2+ months. Unfortunately, I am not home until Saturday night, so I won't get to talk to her right away....sniff sniff.
Anyhow, the office is completely empty as various people have vanished into thin air. I'm about to start my day. Enjoy the weekend folks!!
Labels: Ramblings
Thursday, November 23, 2006
It's Thursday.
On a sad/odd note. One of the girls last night at the Bible study I attended her brother and his wife had just had a baby. The baby was born with cancer. He is not 4 weeks old, and they are putting him through chemotherapy, and his first session starts right now, he gets a few days off and they do it again. I had absolutely no idea that they provided chemo to infants.
On a funny note. Yesterday I recieved an e-mail saying: "encyclapaedias gone to a new home." Now, my spelling and grammar are horrific, but that made me laugh.
On a congrats note. Happy Thanksgiving to all the American's out there. I must say I am jealous, as thanksgiving is my favourite holiday.
On a sad/odd note. One of the girls last night at the Bible study I attended her brother and his wife had just had a baby. The baby was born with cancer. He is not 4 weeks old, and they are putting him through chemotherapy, and his first session starts right now, he gets a few days off and they do it again. I had absolutely no idea that they provided chemo to infants.
On a funny note. Yesterday I recieved an e-mail saying: "encyclapaedias gone to a new home." Now, my spelling and grammar are horrific, but that made me laugh.
On a congrats note. Happy Thanksgiving to all the American's out there. I must say I am jealous, as thanksgiving is my favourite holiday.
Labels: Ramblings
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Happy Things:
1) I have my own personal assistant at work, and she started today. Yippee....I can actually get some of my stuff done, and hopefully eventually not have to work insane overtime hours. Maybe even get a vacation....oooo the wonder of it all.
2) I scored tonight. Which may not seem like a big deal, but it means the ball hog boys are passing to me cause it's all about proving yourself to some guys...and the guys are my team are those type of guys.
3) Work paid for lunch today...which is always a bonus. Though Kelsey's service was rather slow...I guess I sound like a snob, but it bothers me when the waitress doesn't get me a refill and assumes that me slurping air with loud noises means I love sucking air through a straw. Other then that though, she was great.
4) I started thinking about christmas. Note, the keyword is thinking...by the time Christmas Eve rolls around, I may be doing some actual shopping.
5) I want to make a turkey. I don't know why. I know that sounds domestic...but yeah, I'm craving turkey.
6) Max Lucado wrote a great chapter on God's Gracious Anger:
"The loss of myster has led to the loss of majesty.
THe more we know, the less we believe.
No wonder there is no wonder.
We think we've figured it all out.
Strange, don't you think?
Knowledge of the workings shouldn't negate wonder.
Knowledge should stir wonder.
Who has more reason to worship than the
astronomer who has seen the stars?
Than the surgeon who has held a heart?
Than the oceanographer who has pondered the depths?
1) I have my own personal assistant at work, and she started today. Yippee....I can actually get some of my stuff done, and hopefully eventually not have to work insane overtime hours. Maybe even get a vacation....oooo the wonder of it all.
2) I scored tonight. Which may not seem like a big deal, but it means the ball hog boys are passing to me cause it's all about proving yourself to some guys...and the guys are my team are those type of guys.
3) Work paid for lunch today...which is always a bonus. Though Kelsey's service was rather slow...I guess I sound like a snob, but it bothers me when the waitress doesn't get me a refill and assumes that me slurping air with loud noises means I love sucking air through a straw. Other then that though, she was great.
4) I started thinking about christmas. Note, the keyword is thinking...by the time Christmas Eve rolls around, I may be doing some actual shopping.
5) I want to make a turkey. I don't know why. I know that sounds domestic...but yeah, I'm craving turkey.
6) Max Lucado wrote a great chapter on God's Gracious Anger:
"The loss of myster has led to the loss of majesty.
THe more we know, the less we believe.
No wonder there is no wonder.
We think we've figured it all out.
Strange, don't you think?
Knowledge of the workings shouldn't negate wonder.
Knowledge should stir wonder.
Who has more reason to worship than the
astronomer who has seen the stars?
Than the surgeon who has held a heart?
Than the oceanographer who has pondered the depths?
Labels: Ramblings
It's true, I have come to a conclusion. This conclusion is that people just know you're living on your own, and they secretly laugh at you. Now, you may be wondering who these people are...well they are people at sitdown resturants, the cashier at the grocery store, and the guys at the pizza shop. You see, I have this thing...maybe it's a phobia. I do not eat in sit down resturants by myself, I never run to the pizza store without looking like I have some place important to go (this involves continual checking of my watch and cell phone), and when I shop, I never buy just one thing of something, because it is a dead give away.
The other night I was craving cookie dough ice cream, so very bad. I wasn't feeling that well...but there is a grocery store open 24 hours right next to me about a 1 minute walk away. I could of ran down there looking like I just rolled out of bed in my grubby run around the house clothes...but I knew that they would secretly laugh at me. Because they would know I was living alone, and they would assume that I had a cat. Cause that's what people living alone do...they go to the grocery store for fun, they get exciting about the grocery flyers...you always count out the exact amount of change cause you want to maintain human contact as long as possible...and then they buy single items...and twitch nervously around people.
You're the kind of person that gets excited about traffic jams because you are close to people for an extended period of time. At work you shadow people in your office, and strike up a conversation the moment they stop moving, at the gym you offer to fill up people's water bottles just in hopes of having someone smile at you...some people call you a stalker, and you take it as a compliment. Face it, you live alone.
So, you have to perfect this art...shop only when you need to and buy more stuff then you immediately need (you can freeze it anyways...and we all know you are buying because it's on sale...cause you read the flyers like they are paperback novels), always dress kind of up when you are going to the pizza shop, and look at your watch at least five times...(you can also fake a conversation on your cell, and tell the person that you really need the pizza cause you've gotta jet). Oh, make sure you don't buy the small pizza (you can eat the left overs for the rest of the week). Get a large pizza, and then talk out loud...."Hmmm, two pieces for Jane, 3 for Mark, 2 for Jerry....maybe I should get another pizza....oh yeah, Anne is bringing wings....I think one large should be okay."
And never, I repeat never...eat at a sit down resturant by yourself. Even if you take a book, or a laptop to pretend you're working like insane work hours...they know, they always do.
Oh, and never buy tuna...they always think it's for your cat...which is such a dead give away.
And secretly...they laugh at you, so just start to get used to it.
The other night I was craving cookie dough ice cream, so very bad. I wasn't feeling that well...but there is a grocery store open 24 hours right next to me about a 1 minute walk away. I could of ran down there looking like I just rolled out of bed in my grubby run around the house clothes...but I knew that they would secretly laugh at me. Because they would know I was living alone, and they would assume that I had a cat. Cause that's what people living alone do...they go to the grocery store for fun, they get exciting about the grocery flyers...you always count out the exact amount of change cause you want to maintain human contact as long as possible...and then they buy single items...and twitch nervously around people.
You're the kind of person that gets excited about traffic jams because you are close to people for an extended period of time. At work you shadow people in your office, and strike up a conversation the moment they stop moving, at the gym you offer to fill up people's water bottles just in hopes of having someone smile at you...some people call you a stalker, and you take it as a compliment. Face it, you live alone.
So, you have to perfect this art...shop only when you need to and buy more stuff then you immediately need (you can freeze it anyways...and we all know you are buying because it's on sale...cause you read the flyers like they are paperback novels), always dress kind of up when you are going to the pizza shop, and look at your watch at least five times...(you can also fake a conversation on your cell, and tell the person that you really need the pizza cause you've gotta jet). Oh, make sure you don't buy the small pizza (you can eat the left overs for the rest of the week). Get a large pizza, and then talk out loud...."Hmmm, two pieces for Jane, 3 for Mark, 2 for Jerry....maybe I should get another pizza....oh yeah, Anne is bringing wings....I think one large should be okay."
And never, I repeat never...eat at a sit down resturant by yourself. Even if you take a book, or a laptop to pretend you're working like insane work hours...they know, they always do.
Oh, and never buy tuna...they always think it's for your cat...which is such a dead give away.
And secretly...they laugh at you, so just start to get used to it.
Labels: Ramblings
Monday, November 20, 2006
You know what...sometimes I think taking vacations are not worth it, because when the first Monday back to work roles around, it's like pulling teeth from a candied apple. I am not a happy camper being back at work full time...I think I need to find a very old man, with a lot of money, who is about to die...and then marry him so I can travel the world on his riches and only work when I want to, doing what I want :)
On a neat note, I had the opportunity of attending a fund raising dinner for abused woman and children in Columbia on Friday night, and a law conference all day Saturday. I have realized that my passion is really working with abused woman and children. I knew this for quite some time, but now I am actively trying to focus my career around that, or at least have some part of my life interacting with it. From the looks of it, in March I will be giving a talk about self-image to a group of woman. Which is convicting for me, because let's face it...most of us girls hate how we look, or at least are disatisfied with at least some aspect of our looks. With all the pressure that the world and society places on looks, it's a struggle to not let the media or pressure dictate our actions or what we strive to look like.
And so, as I begin to prepare for this, I will have to be doing a lot of soul searching, because more and more I am convinced that your view of your self drasticly impacts your life through many different ways. If you're a girl, and you have not watched Pam Stenzel's "Looking in a Mirror", I strongly suggest you do so.
Anyhow...I need some caffine...and lots of it.
On a neat note, I had the opportunity of attending a fund raising dinner for abused woman and children in Columbia on Friday night, and a law conference all day Saturday. I have realized that my passion is really working with abused woman and children. I knew this for quite some time, but now I am actively trying to focus my career around that, or at least have some part of my life interacting with it. From the looks of it, in March I will be giving a talk about self-image to a group of woman. Which is convicting for me, because let's face it...most of us girls hate how we look, or at least are disatisfied with at least some aspect of our looks. With all the pressure that the world and society places on looks, it's a struggle to not let the media or pressure dictate our actions or what we strive to look like.
And so, as I begin to prepare for this, I will have to be doing a lot of soul searching, because more and more I am convinced that your view of your self drasticly impacts your life through many different ways. If you're a girl, and you have not watched Pam Stenzel's "Looking in a Mirror", I strongly suggest you do so.
Anyhow...I need some caffine...and lots of it.
Labels: Ramblings
Thursday, November 16, 2006
What makes you cry? What is the worst feeling in the world? What makes you laugh? What is the best feeling in the world?
Labels: Questions
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
So often we seem to create a harsh God. A God who demands perfection and when He doesn't receive it from us He judges in harsh ways. I think we've forgotten the God who sent His only son to become a sacrifice for all who would accept. We've forgotten the Saviour who had every right to condemn the woman that the Pharisees brought to Him, when they caught her in the act of adultery. We read that story and we focus on how Jesus didn't fall into the trap that the Pharisees had set. I think we've missed the ending. When all had left because they felt they were unworthy of casting the first stone, Jesus looks up and says: "Woman, where are they? Has no one judged you guilty?" She answers, "No one, sir." Then Jesus says "I also don't judge you guilty. You may go now, but don't sin anymore."
We instead put the focus on us, pushing ourselves to obtain perfection, and beating ourselves up when we fall short. Am I saying the quest to honor God is not commanded or nobel, not in the least. But we have to realize that we can't do it on our own, in fact we really can't do any of it.
It is not until God strips you bare, when you are in the lowest and darkest valley that you can really realize how unable you are to earn your salvation. It is in that moment that you see a God of love, not a harsh dictator. He knew you were going to fail before you did, and he forgave everyone of your sins...even the ones you have yet to commit.
He has pronounced you "Not Guilty", don't forget that message. Don't pass over it to quickly in your quest to perfection or to judge the person beside you. Stop, and ask yourself....how do I view God?
Don't forget the love.
We instead put the focus on us, pushing ourselves to obtain perfection, and beating ourselves up when we fall short. Am I saying the quest to honor God is not commanded or nobel, not in the least. But we have to realize that we can't do it on our own, in fact we really can't do any of it.
It is not until God strips you bare, when you are in the lowest and darkest valley that you can really realize how unable you are to earn your salvation. It is in that moment that you see a God of love, not a harsh dictator. He knew you were going to fail before you did, and he forgave everyone of your sins...even the ones you have yet to commit.
He has pronounced you "Not Guilty", don't forget that message. Don't pass over it to quickly in your quest to perfection or to judge the person beside you. Stop, and ask yourself....how do I view God?
Don't forget the love.
Labels: Spiritual
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
So, there is this guy standing in line at a grocery store. He sees this lady in front of him, and looks at all the things she is buying, and he says to her "You're single aren't you?" The woman's surprised, and says "Yes, how could you tell that just from the stuff I'm buying?" And he replies, "You're ugly."
I laughed.
I laughed.
Labels: Humour
This is a rant. Okay, it's more me talking about adjusting my attitude. Today I was going to paint. Instead, today I went to work. This week is my week off. I have 9 weeks of overtime banked. Work did not get the memo. Work needs me to come in to deal with urgent matters. Mary wants to paint. Mary instead gets a lesson on bad attitudes. Mary wants to kill small things. Instead, Mary realizes her attitude is wrong. This is the story of Mary, and work, and painting.
So yes, long story short...I have been shown by God some major attitudes that have to be adjusted in my life this week. Today it was about how I need to let things go and not get frusterated over things I can't change. It was hard, because I much rather kick objects and complain about how this is my week off and yet I still have to come into work. This is the third major attitude adjustment lesson I've recieved, and it's only Tuesday. I have a feeling this is going to be a long week for me :)
On a happy note...I get to paint tonight, because when I get a chance to leave work, it's new canvas and paint for me. Which of course totally makes my day. I have my next two canvas planned out, and I am still working on the one I started Sunday night, which is hanging on my wall in attempts to inspire me with the finishing touches.
So yes, long story short...I have been shown by God some major attitudes that have to be adjusted in my life this week. Today it was about how I need to let things go and not get frusterated over things I can't change. It was hard, because I much rather kick objects and complain about how this is my week off and yet I still have to come into work. This is the third major attitude adjustment lesson I've recieved, and it's only Tuesday. I have a feeling this is going to be a long week for me :)
On a happy note...I get to paint tonight, because when I get a chance to leave work, it's new canvas and paint for me. Which of course totally makes my day. I have my next two canvas planned out, and I am still working on the one I started Sunday night, which is hanging on my wall in attempts to inspire me with the finishing touches.
Labels: Ramblings
Monday, November 13, 2006
If you were told tonight, that you had two months to live...would you be happy wtih how you've spent your life so far?
Labels: Questions
I know, I can't believe I'm promoting a country song...but the words are good:)
He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do
and he said
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again
and then
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what'd you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it?
Sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do
and he said
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again
and then
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what'd you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it?
Sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
Labels: Music
"A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out." Matthew 12:20
Is there anything more frail than a bruised reed? Look at the bruised reed at hte water's edge. A once slender and tall stalk of sturdy river grass, it is now bowed and bent. Are you a bruised reed? Was it so long ago that you stood so tall, so proud? You were upright and sturdy, nourished by the waters and rooted in the riverbed of confidence. Then something happened. You were bruised...
by harsh wrods
by a friend's anger
by a spouse's betrayal
by your own failure
by religion's rigidity
And you were wounded, bent ever so slightly. Your hollow reed, once tall and straight now stooped, and hidden in the bulrush. And the smoldering wick ono the candle. Is there anything closer to death than a smoldering wick? Once aflame, now flickering and failing. Still warm from yesterday's passion, but no fire. Not yet cold but far from hot. Was it that long ago? Then came the wind...the cold win, the harsh wind. They said your ideas were foolish. They told you your dreams were to lofty. They scolded your for challenging the time-tested. The constant wind wore down upon you. Oh you stood strong for a moment (or maybe a lifetime), but ht eendless blast whipped yoru flickering flame, leaving you one pinch away from darkness.
exerpt from Max Lucado - He Still Moves Stones
Is there anything more frail than a bruised reed? Look at the bruised reed at hte water's edge. A once slender and tall stalk of sturdy river grass, it is now bowed and bent. Are you a bruised reed? Was it so long ago that you stood so tall, so proud? You were upright and sturdy, nourished by the waters and rooted in the riverbed of confidence. Then something happened. You were bruised...
by harsh wrods
by a friend's anger
by a spouse's betrayal
by your own failure
by religion's rigidity
And you were wounded, bent ever so slightly. Your hollow reed, once tall and straight now stooped, and hidden in the bulrush. And the smoldering wick ono the candle. Is there anything closer to death than a smoldering wick? Once aflame, now flickering and failing. Still warm from yesterday's passion, but no fire. Not yet cold but far from hot. Was it that long ago? Then came the wind...the cold win, the harsh wind. They said your ideas were foolish. They told you your dreams were to lofty. They scolded your for challenging the time-tested. The constant wind wore down upon you. Oh you stood strong for a moment (or maybe a lifetime), but ht eendless blast whipped yoru flickering flame, leaving you one pinch away from darkness.
exerpt from Max Lucado - He Still Moves Stones
Labels: Spiritual
Sunday, November 12, 2006
So, last night I was invited by Derek (one of the College and Career people from the church I am attending) to hang out with some people. So, I decided to take him up on the offer...due to the fact that I didn't really have anything on and hey, meeting people in London...that's cool. I had a fun night, it was a game's night at this girl's house...along with watching the hockey game of course.
As a result, I've been invited to their Christmas party, their new year's party, another College and Career group (which I'm attending tonight) and C & C weekend up at MBC. So yeah...I found people, which is really cool!!
On random news...I got an answering machine, so once I have that hooked up....hey you can leave me messages since I never answer the phone :)
I've also updated my flickr account (see photos link on the sidebar) wiht some new pics from the past month or so.
I have this next week off work, though since I've already been called a few times and sent numerous e-mails...I'll most likely end up going in this week. Ah well, keeps my mind from thinking...which has proved to be devestating most days :)
As a result, I've been invited to their Christmas party, their new year's party, another College and Career group (which I'm attending tonight) and C & C weekend up at MBC. So yeah...I found people, which is really cool!!
On random news...I got an answering machine, so once I have that hooked up....hey you can leave me messages since I never answer the phone :)
I've also updated my flickr account (see photos link on the sidebar) wiht some new pics from the past month or so.
I have this next week off work, though since I've already been called a few times and sent numerous e-mails...I'll most likely end up going in this week. Ah well, keeps my mind from thinking...which has proved to be devestating most days :)
Labels: Ramblings, Relationships
Friday, November 10, 2006
I want to catch a really big fish. Every year that I went to the cottage with my family, I would fish. Every year...nothing. The year I don't go, they catch fish.
So, before I die, I want to catch a real fish...a big one, the kind that people hold up and it's like bigger then them!!
So, before I die, I want to catch a real fish...a big one, the kind that people hold up and it's like bigger then them!!
Labels: Ramblings
I found out yesterday that for work, I have to give two speeches at a conference. Now, there will be 1000 people attending, I have to give two 1 1/2 hour speeches...and I don't really have any limitations. So it doesn't necessarly have to be something legal...though of course I will tie that in so people know about my law firm.
So yeah...ideas?
So yeah...ideas?
Labels: Questions
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Today is Friday (in my new work week world) which of course makes me very excited because I am almost done work for the week (in my pretend work week world). Last night I played a brutal game of soccer. There were only two of us girls (there has to be two girls on the field at all times) and so I had to play the whole game straight...in indoor soccer that is pretty much a recipe for a heart attack. I also got pushed around last night, and now have a very large rug burn type injury on my leg. But, at least I have a mark...nothing like going through pain and having nothing to show for it.
Today the weather is suppose to hit 13, which is absolutely fabulous...because, it is November, and I can run around in a t-shirt if I really want.
Anyhow, back to the grind of another day. Enjoy your Friday people!
Today the weather is suppose to hit 13, which is absolutely fabulous...because, it is November, and I can run around in a t-shirt if I really want.
Anyhow, back to the grind of another day. Enjoy your Friday people!
Labels: Ramblings
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
So, I figured it was about time to shake things up a little here, and other then telling stories about flying pasta or pizza people, I figured a little bit of controversy should do the trick. Today I was sitting here at work, and I had to deal with yet another CAS case (which is normal for my job) in which the issue of discipline came up.
Now, just to provide some background here. It was recently decided in the Supreme Court that spanking one's child with an object is now a criminal offence in Canada. So, if someone were to find out that you physically discipline your child and you use an object, they would be obligated to report you, and you could spend time in jail for doing this. That being said, you are allowed to physically discipline your child using your hand on their buttocks if they are between the ages of 2 and 10.
Now, I do not have children so I believe I am a little biased on this issue, or perhaps even idealistic. However, I do not believe that physical discipline is necessary in raising children.
Now, I know right off the bat some of you are going to completely disagree with that statement. My guess is that those people who disagree for Biblical reasons will be quickly flipping through their Bibles in order to show me verses such as "Spare the rod, spoil the child" in Proverbs. I would like to point out something before you start quoting Bible verses in order to support your view. Proverbs does not say that you have to physically discipline your child in order for you to raise them in a Biblical way. It says that you need to discipline them, in order for them to realize what is right and wrong. I do believe that discipline is necessary when raising children; however, physically disciplining them by hitting them or some other form, I do not believe is necessary.
What frustrates me is that people within the Christian circles tend to automatically default to spanking, without trying other methods of discipline. When I was a child, you could spank me and I would feel bad - but take away my books for a week and I thought the world was going to end. I believe that there are many alternatives, and even better alternatives then physical discipline when trying to teach your child a lesson.
Perhaps my thoughts on this are based on me working at pregnancy centres and with the CAS...and thus seeing children who have been abused, or families who despite the fact that their children may be taken from them and they could face jail time refuse to stop spanking their children with an object. Perhaps I am giving up freedom for the sake of peace. But if I was facing jail time and the loss of my children over the fact that I used an object to physically discipline them, I would drop the object fairly quickly.
Do I think that making spanking a criminal offence is going to stop abuse? No, I really don't. Do I think families should have the right to choose whether or not they physically discipline their children? Within reason - yes. Do I think physical discipline is taught as necessary to raise Godly children in the Bible? At this time no.
In conclusion, I do not believe physical discipline is necessary in raising children. Perhaps I am idealistic, but I really hope I can follow my line of thought when I have my own children.
Now, just to provide some background here. It was recently decided in the Supreme Court that spanking one's child with an object is now a criminal offence in Canada. So, if someone were to find out that you physically discipline your child and you use an object, they would be obligated to report you, and you could spend time in jail for doing this. That being said, you are allowed to physically discipline your child using your hand on their buttocks if they are between the ages of 2 and 10.
Now, I do not have children so I believe I am a little biased on this issue, or perhaps even idealistic. However, I do not believe that physical discipline is necessary in raising children.
Now, I know right off the bat some of you are going to completely disagree with that statement. My guess is that those people who disagree for Biblical reasons will be quickly flipping through their Bibles in order to show me verses such as "Spare the rod, spoil the child" in Proverbs. I would like to point out something before you start quoting Bible verses in order to support your view. Proverbs does not say that you have to physically discipline your child in order for you to raise them in a Biblical way. It says that you need to discipline them, in order for them to realize what is right and wrong. I do believe that discipline is necessary when raising children; however, physically disciplining them by hitting them or some other form, I do not believe is necessary.
What frustrates me is that people within the Christian circles tend to automatically default to spanking, without trying other methods of discipline. When I was a child, you could spank me and I would feel bad - but take away my books for a week and I thought the world was going to end. I believe that there are many alternatives, and even better alternatives then physical discipline when trying to teach your child a lesson.
Perhaps my thoughts on this are based on me working at pregnancy centres and with the CAS...and thus seeing children who have been abused, or families who despite the fact that their children may be taken from them and they could face jail time refuse to stop spanking their children with an object. Perhaps I am giving up freedom for the sake of peace. But if I was facing jail time and the loss of my children over the fact that I used an object to physically discipline them, I would drop the object fairly quickly.
Do I think that making spanking a criminal offence is going to stop abuse? No, I really don't. Do I think families should have the right to choose whether or not they physically discipline their children? Within reason - yes. Do I think physical discipline is taught as necessary to raise Godly children in the Bible? At this time no.
In conclusion, I do not believe physical discipline is necessary in raising children. Perhaps I am idealistic, but I really hope I can follow my line of thought when I have my own children.
Labels: Controversial Issues
Today I am pretending it is Thursday, because that means the weekend is a whole lot closer. I think I perform better when I pretend it's a different day of the week, because my mindset is all in the weekend zone and not the fact that it's really not even near the weekend yet.
However, all that to give back ground to my story...
On this beautiful Thursday morning, in which the weather is quite nice considering it is November, and I do not need mittens to drive to work...I decided to take the pasta I had made to work for lunch today. Now, this seems rather uneventful...except the fact that the pasta decided to make a guest appearance inside my car. You see, I had put the pasta on the dashboard, and as I squealed around the corner on my two tires in order to make a yellow light (well, the squealing two tires might be a slight exaggeration) I watched in horror as my pasta slid along the dashboard in slow motion, hit the floor and exploded. When I say exploded, I mean red pasta sauce flying through the air and landing on anything and everything that it could possibly land on (which may be a slight exaggeration because I noticed later that in my CD player there was not pasta sauce).
Now the sad part was that there was nothing I could do, as I was driving. So, I just watched this horrific display with my mouth open (to catch the extra pasta of course) like a person who is seeing a car crash unfold in front of them and they just can't turn away.
So, I now smell like pasta sauce, my car will forever smell like pasta sauce...and this is the story of my beautiful Thursday morning. (By the way...it just started raining...I think it's a sign).
However, all that to give back ground to my story...
On this beautiful Thursday morning, in which the weather is quite nice considering it is November, and I do not need mittens to drive to work...I decided to take the pasta I had made to work for lunch today. Now, this seems rather uneventful...except the fact that the pasta decided to make a guest appearance inside my car. You see, I had put the pasta on the dashboard, and as I squealed around the corner on my two tires in order to make a yellow light (well, the squealing two tires might be a slight exaggeration) I watched in horror as my pasta slid along the dashboard in slow motion, hit the floor and exploded. When I say exploded, I mean red pasta sauce flying through the air and landing on anything and everything that it could possibly land on (which may be a slight exaggeration because I noticed later that in my CD player there was not pasta sauce).
Now the sad part was that there was nothing I could do, as I was driving. So, I just watched this horrific display with my mouth open (to catch the extra pasta of course) like a person who is seeing a car crash unfold in front of them and they just can't turn away.
So, I now smell like pasta sauce, my car will forever smell like pasta sauce...and this is the story of my beautiful Thursday morning. (By the way...it just started raining...I think it's a sign).
Labels: Ramblings
Monday, November 06, 2006
Normally I would use that title as an excuse. "I'm sorry I just freaked out on you over nothing, but I'm a perfectionist," or "I'm sorry you can't understand my view and find me harsh, I have high goals because I am a perfectionist."
I have realized that in my life I often justify things because I don't want to change them. Such as my perfectionist attitude. I've tried to not demand perfection from people around me, yet my inner harsh critic that rips apart anything I do and does not allow me to take a compliment on an issue, has started leaking out. I have realized that I am starting to judge people by my own perfectionist standards, and what is worse is that I justify my actions because I have this belief that I should be striving to be perfect in all things.
I'm the type of person that writes a book about conquering yourself and thus conquering the world. I expect perfection from my self, so I do not understand it when people settle at a lesser level, or are content with where they are at. Honestly, it boggles my mind. I would say on paper that you should learn to be content in every situation, however, never satisfied with where you are at, and always pushing to be better.
However, it is very hard to learn contentment, when you are never satisfied and become consumed with pushing towards perfection.
Those of you who are not perfectionists, are shaking your heads at this post. It blows your mind and you really don't understand how someone can be so obsessed with the impossible. However, I know there are some perfectionists who will read this and ask the question: "What is wrong with seeking perfection, are we not called by God to be like Christ and Christ was perfect?"
I believe there can be a healthy balance on this subject, I also believe that I have totally warped my world with this thinking.
Let me ask you this: "What is your view of God?" "When you think of God, what do you think of?" Some of you will say love, forgiveness and so forth...the perfectionist side of me sees God as more of a dictator, expecting perfection and never being happy with what I do.
Isn't that a horrible view of a loving and generous God. When I read my view of God, I cringe a little on the inside, because I have imposed my perfectionist view on not only other people, but I have put it on God. Thinking in this kind of mind set can make my religion become a works religion because I am striving towards perfection, and not letting God's love and forgiveness take that load off of me.
I write this to myself..."Do not use an excuse, such as I am just a perfectionist, as a reason not to change"
I have realized that in my life I often justify things because I don't want to change them. Such as my perfectionist attitude. I've tried to not demand perfection from people around me, yet my inner harsh critic that rips apart anything I do and does not allow me to take a compliment on an issue, has started leaking out. I have realized that I am starting to judge people by my own perfectionist standards, and what is worse is that I justify my actions because I have this belief that I should be striving to be perfect in all things.
I'm the type of person that writes a book about conquering yourself and thus conquering the world. I expect perfection from my self, so I do not understand it when people settle at a lesser level, or are content with where they are at. Honestly, it boggles my mind. I would say on paper that you should learn to be content in every situation, however, never satisfied with where you are at, and always pushing to be better.
However, it is very hard to learn contentment, when you are never satisfied and become consumed with pushing towards perfection.
Those of you who are not perfectionists, are shaking your heads at this post. It blows your mind and you really don't understand how someone can be so obsessed with the impossible. However, I know there are some perfectionists who will read this and ask the question: "What is wrong with seeking perfection, are we not called by God to be like Christ and Christ was perfect?"
I believe there can be a healthy balance on this subject, I also believe that I have totally warped my world with this thinking.
Let me ask you this: "What is your view of God?" "When you think of God, what do you think of?" Some of you will say love, forgiveness and so forth...the perfectionist side of me sees God as more of a dictator, expecting perfection and never being happy with what I do.
Isn't that a horrible view of a loving and generous God. When I read my view of God, I cringe a little on the inside, because I have imposed my perfectionist view on not only other people, but I have put it on God. Thinking in this kind of mind set can make my religion become a works religion because I am striving towards perfection, and not letting God's love and forgiveness take that load off of me.
I write this to myself..."Do not use an excuse, such as I am just a perfectionist, as a reason not to change"
Labels: Spiritual
Sunday, November 05, 2006
If you don't identify with the title of this post, then you really need not bother reading what follows it. If you don't identify with the title, then I haven't made up my mind if you are dellusional, or just live in some kind of box on a mountain somewhere (in which case, I have no idea how you have access to the internet).
There was a while ago when the Coldplay song..."No one ever said life was going to be easy, but they never said it would be this hard." was my theme song. Sometimes life throws things at you, and they leave you breathless and shaking. Sometimes life gets really really tough, and you're not really sure how you're going to make it through the next five minutes. Where the mountains are so big and the valley so deep that you physically feel you cannot last another day. Some of us gave up at that point, it may not have been as drastic as physically taking our lives...it could be that we just plain gave up. I know that feeling...physically being alive, but other then that I was just existing. Life would get so tough that breathing seemed like an accomplishment. And so we decide that we don't really care about life anymore, we live in the moment without regrets, because it's just easier that way.
If you've never been so low in your life that you've felt like this, then you really won't understand what I am saying (thank God for that). But, if you've been to the valley, or are currently walking the valley...then I think you understand where I am coming from. You're the kind of person that has a hard time singing the words from the song "Blessed be your name"
"Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name"
I mean, how can a perfect God who loves you, let you hurt so deeply. You know the right words, you know what the Bible says, or how that view is incorrect, and yet you feel it so deeply, and you don't understand.
I am not here to say life is easy, I would never claim that. But, I am here as someone who has survived life being painfully difficult...thanks to God, and who is not afraid to live life, despite the fact that I know there will be pain involved. I won't lie, there are scars and baggage that come with painful situations..and sometimes you just don't want to trust again..because you don't want to hurt. Yet through your pain...God often strips you away to your very barest...until you can only painfully admit, that you cannot do it on your own.
If because of the pain I have a real relationship with God that is not about going through the motions or just knowing the words - then I think it has been more then worth it. But those are just my thoughts on life...you are free to disagree.
There was a while ago when the Coldplay song..."No one ever said life was going to be easy, but they never said it would be this hard." was my theme song. Sometimes life throws things at you, and they leave you breathless and shaking. Sometimes life gets really really tough, and you're not really sure how you're going to make it through the next five minutes. Where the mountains are so big and the valley so deep that you physically feel you cannot last another day. Some of us gave up at that point, it may not have been as drastic as physically taking our lives...it could be that we just plain gave up. I know that feeling...physically being alive, but other then that I was just existing. Life would get so tough that breathing seemed like an accomplishment. And so we decide that we don't really care about life anymore, we live in the moment without regrets, because it's just easier that way.
If you've never been so low in your life that you've felt like this, then you really won't understand what I am saying (thank God for that). But, if you've been to the valley, or are currently walking the valley...then I think you understand where I am coming from. You're the kind of person that has a hard time singing the words from the song "Blessed be your name"
"Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name"
I mean, how can a perfect God who loves you, let you hurt so deeply. You know the right words, you know what the Bible says, or how that view is incorrect, and yet you feel it so deeply, and you don't understand.
I am not here to say life is easy, I would never claim that. But, I am here as someone who has survived life being painfully difficult...thanks to God, and who is not afraid to live life, despite the fact that I know there will be pain involved. I won't lie, there are scars and baggage that come with painful situations..and sometimes you just don't want to trust again..because you don't want to hurt. Yet through your pain...God often strips you away to your very barest...until you can only painfully admit, that you cannot do it on your own.
If because of the pain I have a real relationship with God that is not about going through the motions or just knowing the words - then I think it has been more then worth it. But those are just my thoughts on life...you are free to disagree.
Labels: Spiritual
I love travelling. I love seeing new places, flying, spending times in hotels, different cities, and meeting new people. The travelling aspect of my job is very enjoyable to me. However, this past weekend in Ottawa was not very enjoyable for me. I sat in my hotel room Friday night flipping through channels and working on some of my projects from the office, and I realized that I didn't like the fact that I was in Ottawa working. I tried to figure out why this was, because Ottawa is a beautiful city (I would love to live there), I was being totally pampered by three different hotels because they wanted my business, I had passes to every museum and art gallery in the Ottawa/Quebec area, I had amazing food by really good chefs - and yet I was sitting there bored. And I realized that as much as I love travelling, if I have to travel alone for the rest of my life, then I wouldn't really want to do it. It's not as fun when you don't have someone to admire things wtih you, or appreciate the beauty of parliment hill at night.
This same line of reasoning happened to me when I was working at my last law firm in Hamiton. I was making good money, in five months I had climbed from just a law clerk position to a manager of the busiest unit in the firm, I handled lawyers tasks such as all the mediations with our clients and the insurance companies, I had a client case load, and I was doing well. And one day I stood in one of the offices after winning $5,000 for one of our client's, and I realized that this was my life. I was climbing the Corporate ladder. I realized that one day I may even make it to the top of that ladder and be very sucessful and popular, but I also realized that it was very empty.
When you picture yourself at the end of your life, what do you think you will remember most? Will it be the fact that you climbed the corporate ladder, or that you saw a million beautiful cities across the world? I tend to think that those "accomplishments" will fade...and what I really will remember are the relationships I have/had with people in my life. I think I'll remember the joy that I received from loving people even when it hurt, I think I'll remember how my family always stood by me, and how my siblings made me laugh, I'll remember my church family adn the fellowship they gave me, and all the people who's lives touched mine in various ways. I suppose I want to be remembered for that also - not for the accomplishments I achieved, but for how I touched people's lives and hopefully left a positive impact.
Sometimes I forget, I get caught up in the here and now - in saving money for law school, planning my career, planning on changing the world by being a lawyer, travelling all across the globe, and being sucessful. I admit, those dreams are often attractive. But when I really stop to think, like this past weekend...it's not about that, life is not about the money or the sucess...it's about the people - and the ultimate question of "Did you live your life to honour God." If you can answer with confidence that you've honoured God with your life, and touched people in a positive way, then I think you are on the right track. Who cares if you worked at Mc Donalds your whole life (other then the fact that their food sucks:)...if you truly lived life to the fullest, loved even when it hurt, and lived to God's glory...then life is well worth it.
This same line of reasoning happened to me when I was working at my last law firm in Hamiton. I was making good money, in five months I had climbed from just a law clerk position to a manager of the busiest unit in the firm, I handled lawyers tasks such as all the mediations with our clients and the insurance companies, I had a client case load, and I was doing well. And one day I stood in one of the offices after winning $5,000 for one of our client's, and I realized that this was my life. I was climbing the Corporate ladder. I realized that one day I may even make it to the top of that ladder and be very sucessful and popular, but I also realized that it was very empty.
When you picture yourself at the end of your life, what do you think you will remember most? Will it be the fact that you climbed the corporate ladder, or that you saw a million beautiful cities across the world? I tend to think that those "accomplishments" will fade...and what I really will remember are the relationships I have/had with people in my life. I think I'll remember the joy that I received from loving people even when it hurt, I think I'll remember how my family always stood by me, and how my siblings made me laugh, I'll remember my church family adn the fellowship they gave me, and all the people who's lives touched mine in various ways. I suppose I want to be remembered for that also - not for the accomplishments I achieved, but for how I touched people's lives and hopefully left a positive impact.
Sometimes I forget, I get caught up in the here and now - in saving money for law school, planning my career, planning on changing the world by being a lawyer, travelling all across the globe, and being sucessful. I admit, those dreams are often attractive. But when I really stop to think, like this past weekend...it's not about that, life is not about the money or the sucess...it's about the people - and the ultimate question of "Did you live your life to honour God." If you can answer with confidence that you've honoured God with your life, and touched people in a positive way, then I think you are on the right track. Who cares if you worked at Mc Donalds your whole life (other then the fact that their food sucks:)...if you truly lived life to the fullest, loved even when it hurt, and lived to God's glory...then life is well worth it.
Labels: Spiritual
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
So, instead of leaving work at 4:30 today, I found out that I was spending the weekend in Ottawa and Quebec for work. So, instead of going to the gym tonight (my flubbies are starting to hate me) I worked till almost 8:00 trying to get my schedule in place for the next few crazy insane overscheduled days. Ah well, my suitcase was getting to comfortable in my closet...so yes, packing again.
Well, hopefully the weather is nice, and I get to be pampered by various hotels who want my business...so far all my lunches this week have been hotels feeding me while trying to impress me. I also got two box seat tickets to a Knights hockey game from one of the hotels, because they want me. Bawwahahaha, nothing like being spoiled. I should be rich...I could get used to this :)
Well, hopefully the weather is nice, and I get to be pampered by various hotels who want my business...so far all my lunches this week have been hotels feeding me while trying to impress me. I also got two box seat tickets to a Knights hockey game from one of the hotels, because they want me. Bawwahahaha, nothing like being spoiled. I should be rich...I could get used to this :)
Labels: Ramblings