Z SoccerChic9: January 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
So last night...Derek invited me to this guy's birthday party to go paintballing. Now, I figured that this would be a fun game of paintball, and so I agreed to go - I mean, it involves guns...why would I not go :) Well, the guys we were going with showed up with thousands of dollars of guns, equipment, and outfits - it was quite the contrast to my jeans and sweatshirt. I was pretty sure at that point, that someone was paying someone to get rid of me. Then I figured, it was a good way to go down...better then slipping in the bath tub.

Oh, also a small other fact I haven't mentioned - I was the only girl in about a group of 40 + guys. However, despite all that - I stayed in every round right to the end. The only time I died...was when we played president - and guess who was the president. That's right....me. Which basically means, it is the job of the other team (about 15-20 guys) to shoot me in the head. That is how they win the game. It has to be in the head.

So, I was doing fine, until the last five seconds of the game...all the guys around me who were suppose to be covering my back, got shot...and I was defending myself by shooting the incoming group of three guys, and then I ran out of paint...it was kind of sad...five seconds left, and I got hit in the head.

All that to say - I had a complete and utter blast, even if I was the only girl...and I have a few nice bruises to prove it!!


Friday, January 26, 2007
So, I was sitting there thinking the other day (always a bad sign) and something in my thought pattern went on the topic of jobs...and I decided that if I am to change my career, these are the jobs I do not want:

1) Working at a maternity clothing store.

I am always afraid that when I walk into a maternity store to shop for someone that some nice lady working there is going to ask me when I am due. I never know how I would respond to that...because if you tell her you're not pregnant, she's going to feel horrible...but if you say you're five months and she says "Wow, you're big for five months" you're going to feel horrible. It really is a no-win situation, which leads me to think, I'd hate to work at a maternity store, cause I know I'd end up asking non-pregnant ladies when they are due...and then most likely getting fired over it.

2) Being a doorman - or more like doorwoman:

I would always feel afraid that I would go to open the door for some lady carrying her pet poodle in her purse, and I'd smack her right in the head with the door. I just really don't think I have the eye/hand coordination for a job such as that. I mean nothing worse then people checking in at the hotel with the door crest embedded on their face. I can't picture myself lasting very long with that job. So, I'm basically impressed at all the guys who open doors for girls, and don't clock them in the head!

3) A hairdresser.

Every time I go to get my hair cut, I sit down in the chair, and the lady says “What would you like today,” and I always respond “Hmm, do what you think is best.” Now, if I was a hair dresser and someone said that to me, I think I would give them a mullet just to teach them never to put so much pressure on me as the hair dresser. Not to mention the fact that me holding sharp and pointy object in my hand near people’s heads just doesn’t seem like a wise idea. I mean, what happens if you unexpectedly sneeze while cutting someone’s hair. Sounds like a CSI case to me.

4) A Window Cleaner

Part of me would love to have this job, mostly because people always think the window cleaner can’t see inside while he’s cleaning. Though to be quite honest, they can see just fine. But for the very same reason that I wouldn’t mind being a window cleaner, I would hate to be one. I mean, you can see in people’s windows…people who think you can’t see them. I can only imagine the stories you could bring home, and the therapy you would need to help cope with those stories. Not to mention, you’re hanging from a thread high above concrete slabs…something seems rather risky about that, not quite sure what it is though.

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

When I was in The Hat over the holidays, I had the chance to attend Mike and Colleen's wedding. Now, I don't really know Mike that well, but Colleen went to our C & C group at Heights Baptist. So, Jello and I bought a present and headed out to the wedding (I put more pics on my flickr account). They were married in the theatre down town, and then the reception was at the church. Good times...though I must say...wedding dances scare me. lol.

I'm just glad Jello was my date...it gave me someone to talk to!

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Christian's shouldn't be asking themselves when it comes to a grey area "Is this wrong" but rather they should ask themselves "Is it right." I mean, I can tell you that a lot of things are not wrong for a Christian to do, such as drinking, smoking or other areas that have been deemed grey areas. But when I ask myself, is this right...I often realize I really don't have a good argument to support it. Now, I am not saying that you need to cut out any grey area in your life and become legalistic...but I am saying, maybe we need to re-examine some things in our lives. Just because it's not wrong, doesn't mean we need to do it.

What kind of standard are you holding yourselves to? If you compare yourselves to other Christians, I am sure you can come out at a level similar to how you perceive them. However, when you measure yourself up to God's standard, you will fall short every time.

We had a good Bible study tonight - I was encouraged by the discussion and thoughts that came forward. It's been fun getting to know people better in London...I don't know if I've scared them too badly yet...they're still talking to me, so I think that's a good sign :)


I received a package last night in the mail, and my hair straightner was in it, which totally made me happy. Okay yeah, there is no way that doesn't sound completely girly. Dang.

Anyhow, I am very glad it is Wednesday - my week has consisted of sleeping 14 hours Monday night, playing an intense soccer game last night, and then the gym and Bible Study tonight. I'm looking forward to seeing people tonight, after the total withdrawl I've been having since sno-camp!

Can I just say, if you don't have facebook, you should get it. It's a bajillion times better then Myspace, and I've talked to people I haven't talked to in like over five-years. Good times all around.

Anyhow, I really have nothing exciting to say - other then I wish I was in bed right now. I hope everyone's enjoying their Wednesday...I need some caffeine.


Monday, January 22, 2007
To be honest...I was grumpy today. I kind of was running on lack of sleep, and the letdown that generally happens after you have a great time spiritually and with other people. I knew my attitude needed to be changed, but I didn't feel like putting the effort into it.

My dad e-mailed me to tell me that the dad of my two younger brother's friends that they play hockey with committed suicide yesterday.

Suddenly...my day looks pretty good, and I am ashamed I made my small problems into such large issues.


Well, we're back from sno-camp, and those 3 approx. hours of sleep each night are starting to show this morning :). I must say it was nice sleeping in my bed last night, and having warm water again. Nothing like crowding 13 girls into a room slightly larger then a hotel room with one bathroom. Makes life interesting to say the least - though I am happy to report that no one killed anyone else.

The weather was defiantly suited for sno-camp. It all started with some insane whiteout conditions in Barrie. This lady was driving, decided it scared her too much so she stopped her car in the middle of the highway and these whiteout conditions and jumped out crying. We all almost ploughed into her...and I was embarrassed on behalf of my gender. We ended up having to call the cops, because she was so upset she would not move her car. Up at MBC it was about -25 with a lot of snow - so we definitely got our winter wishes!!

I played some awesome volleyball and soccer on Saturday...good times. Though I do believe like every one showed up for the volleyball tournament, there were so many teams entered, it was crazy. The soccer on the other hand, was some of the best I've played, especially recreationally.

The food as always was good...and the speaker and worship team were very inspiring.

So yes - good times all around. I'm now going through people withdrawal.


Thursday, January 18, 2007
Yeah, so apparently I have some odd things about me - which I think is completely crazy of course :D But...I thought I'd put some of them down, just so you could make fun of me...or share your own weird quirks.

1) When I say "The other day" it could mean up to three years ago

2) I always eat my pudding cups without a spoon - even if there is a spoon nearby. The goal is to see how much you can eat, before you get it on your nose, and if you can finish the entire container without using your finger.

3) I put butter on my peanut butter and jam sandwhiches - which apparently is odd (though I totally don't think so).

4) I hate drinking milk in anything but a glass cup.

5) I can't say the words: Linoleum or Suspenders without messing up. Unless I make you say it first really slow about five times and I concentrate.

6) The two foods I could not live without - are butter and salt.

7) I HATE packing with a passion (okay, you most likely know that already)

8) Even if it is the middle of the summer and scorching hot - I always sleep with my duvet. I can't fall asleep without blankets.

9) When I was about 8, my aunt made a carrot cake for my birthday. I threw it up violently - and to this very day, I have not eaten carrot cake - just the thought makes me want to get sick.

10) I have conversations with myself - especially when I'm working out at the gym. I get mad at myself - and tell myself to push harder. I think it scares the people beside me.


I grew up thinking that if you debated something well enough, you could convince anyone that what you believed was true; all you had to do was win the debate. I soon realized that no matter how sound your argument is people are not going to believe it by you "winning" a debate.

Now, if you're like most humans, you are going to run into people who completely disagree with your worldview (especially as Christian's) and I think often we don't really know how to deal with such attacks on our faith or our beliefs. I am sure there are a wide variety of responses to this; however, there seems to be a trend in the responses Christian's give. Some try to respond by debating these people into believing what we believe, others by just rejecting their faith because the moment it is attacked and they don't have the answer they question it, other's become completely passive and just don't discuss their faith or back away from any argument or debate.

This leads me to think, there must be a better way then these above responses, as all of them seem to not really accomplish the end goal that we are hoping for.

I believe the answer, or at least part of it, is to show people by example who Christ is and how it's changed our life. So that when we do open our mouths to talk about Him, they believe that we aren't just spouting off some argument we learned in Sunday school.

Now, many of you most likely agree with that "Yes, we will show them by our actions" and yet so many of our lives do not reflect Christ in a vibrant and obvious way. It's like we live our lives exactly like our neighbour, but we go to Church, do a few mission trips, go to Bible Study Wednesday nights - but there is no passion. There is no reason for our neighbour, or the person we bump into in our lives to believe that we are on fire for God.

It leads me to ask my self - if someone ran into me today, would they notice that I'm different? Does my passion and fire for God shine through me, or have I settled to a "just getting by" standard?


Wednesday, January 17, 2007
that I talk to myself, on quite a regular basis actually. The scary part is, more and more I am realizing it is not just internal conversations, but rather me talking out loud to myself. For example, this happened yesterday at Wal-Mart

Me standing in the garbage pail isle while trying to decide what garbage pail to buy for my kitchen.

Hmmm, I kind of want a silver garbage pail; it seems much more sophisticated somehow.

Silly it's a kitchen, who cares about sophistication. Besides, you'll have to clean the outside all the time because there will be marks on it.

Sure, but I really could stand to be more sophisticated.

Hahaha, there's a joke for you - Mary sophisticated.

I think I want the big one with the lid

Yeah, but $20 for a pail to hold your junk - that seems ridiculous

Yeah, I suppose that's true - but then when people come over, I could be like "Hey, look at my really nice $20 garbage pail with a lid - and cursive writing - that's a nice feature"

Hey, you just said that in a Brian Reagan voice.

I know, but he so totally cracks me up, I can't help it.

I really should get the cute little fat one.

Hahah, you're little and fat, why don't you just put a garbage bag in your mouth.

Did you just burn me?

Heck yes I did (muffles a laugh).

Okay, that's it - we're getting the fat white one...you're embarrassing me.

Oh, whatever - you're the one talking out loud.

See, I really am going mental - I'm having conversations with my self, out loud, in Wal-Mart. I am making myself laugh - this can't be healthy :)


Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Well, just in case people were starting to feel happy and non-offended, I decide to pull a controversial issue post on a topic that I know is going to make some people wonder if I've fallen off the deep end. Of course, as I tend to say at the beginning of these types of posts...this is meant to be controversial so you most likely will not agree, which is okay:)

How important is theology? I guess that is the question I have faced since moving out on my own, and I am sure many of you have or will face this question during your life. See, I grew up in a Reformed Calvinist home. Now, for those of you who don't know Reformed Calvinist place a high emphasis on theology. They see theology as a way to deepen your relationship with God as you learn more about Him and what He is saying through the Bible. Calvinism tends to be very Biblically based, and uses scripture to back up pretty much all of the truths held to by the Calvinist. I grew up in a church circle in which I learned the theological truths very early on in my life and could debate and argue the five points of Calvinism with the best of them.

The problem was not the theology, which was very sound and Biblically based; it was the fact that I believed my relationship with God was real and alive because I knew all these things about God. The problem was I knew about God, but the relationship I had with Him was not very real or alive. I had fallen into a works religion, in which I went through the motions, said and argued all the right things, and followed all the traditions.

I know some of you are going to argue that the theology was not at fault; however, it was my attitude. And I believe some of what you say is correct.

It wasn't until I moved out of my parent's home down to The Hat, that I really realized the entire world was not like me. Sure I had many friends, who came from different backgrounds, but the majority of my circles tended to be Reformed Calvinist.

I remember the Reformed church I attended in Medicine Hat. I went there for five weeks, before I stopped attending. The people didn't really talk to me; the youth totally did not talk to me, rather stared at me like I had two heads. I found the services to be going through the motions, and that attitude seemed to be reflected in the congregation. Now, I am sure there were some very nice people there, and I don't want to bash the church on a whole, but from my experience I have never been so embarrassed for a church in how they treated an outsider. If I had not grown up in the church, I don't think I ever would have gone to another church.

I eventually attended a Baptist church in The Hat. Most of you will be surprised that the fact is controversial, but to many people it seemed that I was becoming laid back and not viewing the theological issues as important. Do you know why I attended that church? It was because the people were friendly, and talked to me after the service, it was because the youth welcomed me into their group by the second time I attended a service, it was because the preaching was Biblical and I really enjoyed the fellowship.

I am going to say something - which some of you may have a problem with. Fellowship has become very important to me, to the point that if I attend a church, and they are completely sound Biblically, but there is no growth, and no fellowship, I am more likely to attend a church that I have a few disagreements with but has fellowship, then I am to attend the church that has all the right theology.

As I continue to make friends with completely different backgrounds, I am challenged. Because not everything is clear cut when you open up your circles, and expand your friendships. You see I am meeting people, who have completely different theological views, and yet their lives are on fire for God and their passion is to serve Him. And all I can do in the face of that is thank God for blessing me with people who encourage me to push on in my relationship with Him, and for the way He is broadening my views.

At the end of the day, have we made tiny issues that do not dictate your salvation into large issues to tear apart churches? Is there a problem with me worshiping beside someone who believes in speaking in tongues, or a woman who believes in adult baptism over infant baptism? I tend to think not, for the important thing is that we love God and our relationship with Him is real. It is not about if you have all the right theological arguments, it's about your love and relationship with and for God.

All that said, as much as some of you will assume I have forsaken everything I was taught while growing up - that is untrue. The Bible is my ultimate authority for what I believe in. I'm just excited for how God continues to make my relationship with Him more real and alive, and less going through the motions.

(Wow, that was way too long of a post:)


Monday, January 15, 2007
1) That I have a carport, so all the ice rain we received this morning I didn't have to scrape off my car!

2) That all the insane drivers in this weather decided to stay home this morning for my drive to work!

3) The fact that I can call Nicole and she doesn't get charged on her cell for incoming calls. I tell you - the pizza arm idea was still the best - though living on couches is pulling a close second!

4) That when my car slid out of my parking spot because of the ice this morning after I parked it and went into to work - no one hit it.

5) That God has put some really awesome friends into my life, who continue to encourage me to press on despite the tough times.

6) That God really convicted me last night during the Bible study on forgiveness.

7) The awesome lunch I just ate and didn't have to cook cause my mom spoils me :)

8) That I get to go paintballing on the 27th and to snow camp this weekend at MBC!!

9) The new adventures and possibilities that line my near future

10) Because despite all the junk - life is pretty awesome, and I'm glad I'm living it!


Friday, January 12, 2007
I am not sure if it is jet leg...or just that I am completely wired and hence unable to sleep. Can I say that I already miss The Hat. Yesterday, when I was on the plane leaving Calgary, we were all ready to go, and then one of the passengers decided she wanted to stay in Calgary. So, they had to re-open the plane, get her and her luggage off the plane, then open up the bottom and go through all the luggage until they found hers. A large part of me wanted to jump up and run off the plane with her...even if it meant I would have to live in a cardboard box at the airport. Then again, my suitcase is quite large, I think I would fit in it.

I came back to London today...to an over flowing mailbox, a few unexpected phone messages, and a very empty fridge. Also, I kind of had Christmas all over again, as I unpacked all my Christmas presents from my family, and realized I had forgetten about over half of the presents I had received. Which was totally cool with me of course.

Scott asked me today: "If you felt God was telling you to quit your job for a time, and just stay at home and grow closer to Him and really strengthen your relationship with Him....would you do it?" My first reaction was no. Not in a rebellious way...but in a I would think God was messing with my head if He asked me to quit my job to get to know Him and to trust in Him...I mean, that just seems absured. The more I think about my reaction though, I wonder if I am putting God in a box, or expecting Him to only ever work in a "normal" way. Of course I can imagine someone is going to comment and say - God created a world where work is necessary and it's part of life...and some people will want to comment and say you can't put God in a box, you can only think you're putting Him in a box.

I guess what I'm really asking is - how far and what would you sacrifice to make your relationship with God the most important aspect of your life? How much are you willing to give up, how many blows are you going to take for it? Because we can sit here and say we want a real relationship with God, and we want to serve Him with our lives...but at the end of the day, if you aren't changing anything in your life to make that happen - you gotta wonder how badly you want it to happen.

I preach at myself when I write that. So often I can say all the right things, give great arguments, talk about how important a relationship with God is, how I want it more then anything...and then I get home, sit down and turn on the tv, or mindlessly fill my time with nothing of importance. Really makes me wonder how badly I want this relationship with God...or if I'm just talking and not backing it up with actions.

I want to run a 5k this summer, and complete a triathalon. The trainer that I had a meeting with at the gym, told me I have 37.5 fat pounds to lose, and a whole lot of working out to do - that was the end of August. I think I've gained 37.5 more fat pounds since then...and my workout schedule is horrific. I guess if I keep talking about how I want to do this...I need to back it up with actions. Perhaps that is what God is trying to teach me...how I need to talk less and act more.

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Thursday, January 11, 2007
So...despite the prayers for the blizzard to be so bad I couldn't fly...I was able to get to the airport. Though, there was some pretty nice whiteout conditions, but Jello is an amazing driver, and she just used her super powers to float right above the snow!

Both of my flights were delayed today, and of course that is when I had an emergency call from work, which I had to juggle between running from one flight to the next. Nothing quite as professional as yelling on a cell phone above the plane announcers to a client.

There is snow here, for like the first time...of course just in time for my arrival. I do believe my feet and hands are still frozen now. I made the mistake of going to my sister's hockey game as soon as I got out of the airport, and the arena was freezing to say the least.

On a slightly sad note, my car died. Well, it was fine...my mom picked me up from the airport...we drove it for a while, put gas in it, and then she went to start it and it was completely dead. Thankfully it is just a battery...because car shopping in the winter sucks:)

Anyhow, I'm running on Alberta time, which means I am going to be dead tomorrow at this rate. I hope everyone is enjoying the snow!


Tuesday, January 09, 2007
My time here in The Hat is winding down, unless the blizzard warning pulls through for me (Please God, send a blizzard so I don't have to go back to London:). I am waiting for Nicole to primp herself as we are heading out for supper with some people. This could be interesting, as she often seems to get into a fight with the hair straightner...oh the dangers of being a girl!

The real question is this: Would you rather leave a place with the perfect memory and no good bye, or would you want to say good bye? I think I rather not say good byes, just act as if it's another night, another time, and leave as if I am coming back tomorrow. Perhaps I am weird, perhaps I hate the finality of a good bye.

Sometimes life doesn't make sense to me. I don't understand why certain things happen to certain people. It always seems to be the people who deserve the best, end up getting the short end of the stick. I don't understand that. I trust God has an ultimate plan for it all...but sometimes it doesn't make sense to me.

Do you ever marvel at unconditional love? I do. I've marvelled at it a few times these past weeks. I can't fathom how God can look at me, with all my mistakes and flaws, and love me despite it all. I don't understand how He forgave me before I even messed up, or how He has forgotten all the sins I've confessed. I don't understand it at all. I am completely in awe...and as I looked up at a perfect sky the other night, and saw the stars, I couldn't help but marvel at God's unconditional love for someone like me.

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Monday, January 08, 2007
Do you ever wish that you could freeze a moment? I do. Sometimes the most perfect moments happen, when I feel that I am truly living. When God seems so close that I can feel Him, and when I'm not scared about tomorrow or five years from now. God has been teaching me a lot in the last two weeks while being down in The Hat. A lot of it is not exactly flattering things, things I would rather pretend I don't struggle with. He's shown me how selfish I really am, how I don't put enough effort into friendships, how I tend to turn everything into a story about my life, how I am too quick to speak and too slow to listen, how I plan to far in advance instead of trusting Him, how I care too much what people think about me, how I forget to laugh and sometimes how I try too hard not to cry.

I suppose the real root issue is my pride, I want people to think I have my life all together, and yet I don't. I really don't have any of my life together. I've messed up things I shouldn't have, and depended on my own strength to get me through.

As much as it is painful to realize that I am so far from perfect, and to think that I am way to broken for God to ever fix me...I am comforted in this moment. Because I realize I can't do things on my own any more...and I'm excited as I see what God can do in people around me. It is my hope that as God tears apart everything I hold dear, He will be able to rebuild me and put all the cracked pieces together to form a functional masterpiece.


Sunday, January 07, 2007
You know what I miss...my old church, Heights Baptist. Whenever I come back here after being away, I am reminded about how much I loved attending there. This morning we had communion, I love communion, but especially at this church. After communion the entire church joins hands throughout the whole sanctuary and sings, "Blest be the Tie that Binds."

We had a great sermon today, on how you are never to broken for God's grace...I always find those types of sermons encouraging. Especially as I mess up in my life, and am constantly remind of how far I've fallen and how sinful I am. Also Pastor Art made some great points about how we often try to know God's will and know where He wants us to go, but we neglect to stay faithfully in the word and ono His path. I found that thought interesting...as I am the one who runs on five-year plans and likes to know what is happening. I believe these are one of the moment in life where God asks to take the reins and for me to trust...and sometimes that is really hard.

On a side note - Jello on drugs is way to much fun. I finally met Chewy last night for the first time (every time I hear his name I want a cookie), though I do believe we scared him away. Something to do with Jello asking out of the blue if he had a hairy chest. I do believe he was rather taken back...and maybe scared for life.

Oh, and Nicole got a new hair cut, and she looks hot. Seriously...I was quite jealous of her fabulous looks with her new do...I do believe she even is strutting a bit when she is walking :) And, she is going to buy a blow dryer and straightener...our little Nicole is growing up. Though, I should most likely give her a call, to make sure she didn't burn her ear off or something this morning :)

Well folks, I already had one amazing lunch at my company's old executive director's house, and I have supper with Jello at Scott's house (his mom invited us) I don't know if Jello's going to ask any hair questions...could be interesting!!

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Friday, January 05, 2007
Okay, so when I had my wisdom teeth pulled, I thought it hurt bad. I complained about the pain and the fact that all I wanted to do was sleep forever. Jello just got her wisdom teeth pulled on Wednesday, and she is so sick. She hasn't been able to keep anything down, even water...her pain is through the roof, and her mom almost took her to the hospital last night. Suddenly I feel like a big huge wuss, because my pain was nothing compared to what she was going through. Poor Jello. Also, her dentist is a horrible horrible person, he wouldn't even give her Tylenol 3's. I think he never had his wisdom teeth pulled out.

I had a chance to spend most of yesterday with my friend Heather who is expecting and due in February. I am so excited for her, and I really really hope it's a girl, as she has three boys already. We went shopping for baby stuff...wow is that stuff expensive, but oh so cute. It's a good thing I don't have a child, or I would be buying everything! Although, hanging out with her made me want to come down here in February for when she has the baby and stay with her to help out, she'll have her hands full with the boys and a new baby!

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Monday, January 01, 2007
When was the last time you smiled...for absolutely no reason? Or the last time you lived out one of your dreams, no matter how crazy or daunting it was? When was the last time you stood up and said, "I'm not doing this because I don't think it will help me in serving my purpose here on earth - to glorify God."

Have we become a society stuck in a rut of the everyday, just living minute to minute in hopes of surviving the mine field we call life? When you look back on the last year, five years, ten years of your life do you see a stagnant pool of water collecting? Don't get me wrong, I realize a lot of life is about mundane tasks that need to be performed or waded through. I am not trying to be idealistic and say you should be smiling and living life to the fullest in every moment. But stop for a minute, take a step back, and look at your life - is this what you want to be doing? If you were given a year left to live, how much of your life would change?

Sometimes I people watch...I look at couples who are together, or parent's with their children. Sometimes the people look happy and completely in love...but most days they've got frowns on their faces, the children are screaming, the parent's are upset - and they are yelling at each other. In those moments, I just want to get up and shake them, and say to them, "This is your life, you only get to live it once. You don't know how long you have to spend with this person, you may only have a day left with them, don't forget to tell them that you love them."

So when I look at my own life, over this past year and as I go into the future...I am stopping, taking a step back, and trying to go forward with my eye sight on God, and a smile on my face.

By the way, about five minutes ago while I was talking to a friend, I smiled...for no reason. Life is good, despite all the pain and hardships that come your way. There is a rainbow behind the clouds, and a crown in heaven with your name.

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