Thursday, December 27, 2007
So, I asked a few people this question over the weekend, and it seemed to raise a few neck hairs, so I decided to make it a controversial issue post, just to keep everyone on their toes.
Here is the scenario:
There is a gay couple who got married, adopted some children, and then became Christians after 14 years of marriage. What do they do now? Does that make their marriage void? Was their marriage void in the first place? Should they get a divorce? Or should they continue living their life? What about the children? What is stronger, a marriage commitment, or not living in a way that dis-honours God.
I think you really have to start with what is the definition of marriage, and what makes it official. Is it when you stand in front of a group of people and express vows to each other, or is it the signing of the piece of paper, or is it when you make a commitment to live together and be committed to just your partner?
Now, I'm not going to give my opinion, and I realize that this question is somewhat narrow, as in you would have to look at this from a Christian perspective in order for this question to even really be an issue. However, that's the question of the day.
Here is the scenario:
There is a gay couple who got married, adopted some children, and then became Christians after 14 years of marriage. What do they do now? Does that make their marriage void? Was their marriage void in the first place? Should they get a divorce? Or should they continue living their life? What about the children? What is stronger, a marriage commitment, or not living in a way that dis-honours God.
I think you really have to start with what is the definition of marriage, and what makes it official. Is it when you stand in front of a group of people and express vows to each other, or is it the signing of the piece of paper, or is it when you make a commitment to live together and be committed to just your partner?
Now, I'm not going to give my opinion, and I realize that this question is somewhat narrow, as in you would have to look at this from a Christian perspective in order for this question to even really be an issue. However, that's the question of the day.
Labels: Controversial Issues
Monday, November 19, 2007
November 11, 2007: "After singing our national anthem, we would like to take a moment of silence to remember the great men and women who gave their lives so that others might live."
It was the sound I heard from the pulpit not to long ago before the music started up for our National Anthem. As I grasped the microphone I had to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill out of my eyes, and try to calm my shaking nerves.
You see, on November 11th, I had the priviledge of singing the National Anthem during our church service right before 11:00. For some people, that may not be considered an honour, or even anything of note, but for me it was one of the greatest honours that I could be given, and I wore my poppy proudly as I sang our National Anthem in honour of the brave men and women who sacrificed every thing they had, and put their lives on the line because they so strongly believed in something and in the future generations. You see, they knew that they could die, and yet out they went and fought battles for people they did not know, endured the horrors of war, all so that future generations could live free.
A story that sounds somewhat familiar to me as I think of how Christ did the very same thing.
That blows my mind. That someone could be so dedicated to a country, or a cause, or a person who's name they never knew and face they would never see. That puts pride in my heart, and tears in my eyes.
You see, I had a hard time singing the anthem, because I was caught up in the emotion of how great a sacrifice someone made for me, just so I could live free.
Now, I had to wait a bit before I wrote this post, otherwise it would have turned into a blistering rant against all those people who did not show their respect or support. You see, there were some people who did not stand in the audience during the anthem, or in honour of the fallen soldiers. I don't know why, I guess it could be a variety of reasons...and as I inwardly seethed against the disrespect I felt was being shown, I had to ask myself some questions.
If tomorrow was declared a remembrance day for all the men and women who gave their lives by strapping explosive devices onto themselves and died for a cause that they believed in, or if tomorrow was a moment of silence at 11:00 for Hitler because he dedicated himself to a cause that he believed in, or Stalin, or the people responsible for the Rwanda Genocide...would I stand? Absolutely not...because I don't support what they did, and I think that their cause was one that ruined the lives of so many people.
So instead of this being a blistering rant against the lack of respect shown, I guess I'm extending a little grace, because I don't know why you didn't stand. Maybe you don't beleive in war, maybe you feel it could have been solved differently, maybe you lost someone and it hurts too much. Do I think you're wrong for not standing, from my side of the street - absolutely. Would I challenge you on it...forsure. Do I think there is a lack of appreciation for what people have done so that we could be here today...you bet there is.
But instead of running you over in the parking lot...I'll try to understand where you're coming from. But if you didn't stand just because you didn't feel like it...you better run start through the parking lots!
I hope parents teach their children why there are poppies being sold in malls and grocery stores around November each year. I hope people tell their children and grandchildren about why they are free today. I hope each year at 11:00 on November 11th, we all take a moment of silence, and honour those brave men and women...because if they didn't do what they did, we might not be here today.
And to those men and women...Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Labels: Controversial Issues
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
At the risk of being called old fashioned and out-dated, not that I really care to be honest, I figured I'd tackle one of the most controversial issues yet in my controversial thread of topics. This thought has been sitting in the back of my mind for quite some time, and it recently came back to the forefront this week.
You see, I was sitting in Chapters with a good friend of mine. I was browsing the "House and Home" and "Hairstyle" section, while he was reading XBox magazines. Somehow, I'm afraid that whole sentence makes me sound quite girly. Anyhow, as he flipped through his magazine, he came to the back of the magazine only to realize that there were quite a few pages advertising porn, and adult call lines. Now, he was offended by the fact that they would put that type of advertising in a magazine that young children would be looking at, and a magazine that had nothing to do with porn. I kind of brushed it off, because I can understand the marketing behind it. After all, it's a mainly guy read magazine, it seems to make sense to use woman to sell it...that seems to be the trend of marketing in our society right now.
It was in that moment that I realized again that I have become so desensitized to the entire porn and woman bodies used to sell things that I pretty much have just come to accept it. I feel that the entire porn subject is totally avoided in church circles as the large elephant in the room that we don't dare discuss, and anywhere else it's just accepted that all guys are going to watch porn, check out woman's, make woman into trophies and rate their worth based on what they look like or can do.
Now, I'm not trying to say this is just a guys issue. I know there aren't as many girls who are addicted to porn as guys, but they are definitely out there. Not to mention, we are the girls who let ourselves be rated, become trophies, or believe that our purpose is to put out and please guys. We dress and act in a way to attract men, as if our very validation comes from how many guys heads turn when we walk down the street.
I believe that we have all lowered ourselves to a level below what we deserve or should have. You see, I think we need to stop settling for what we feel is the norm.
What would happen if girls stopped dressing to turn heads, but instead to show their feminity in a attractive an non-sexual way. What if guys stopped treating woman as objects, and sizing up every girl that walked by them. What if they stopped viewing girl's bodies as public property, and girls stopped viewing guys as objects to validate themselves. What if when a guy actually was with a girl, and he held her hand and told her she was beautiful, he didn't have any ulterior motives of getting something from her. And he honored her because he valued her.
I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but when a guy tell me that I'm hot, and then turns around and checks out the girl behind me, or expects me to give something in return because it's my job. I'm not really flattered.
What if we all stopped ignoring the large elephant in the room, and started addressing it. What if we called each other to higher standards, to treating people as real human beings not objects. I don't know how much more degrading you can get, then when you turn a woman into an object to please your desires. In that moment she no longer becomes a person, she is just an object, and you have treated her as such. The same goes for guys. So often I hear girls walking around talking about who's hot and who they want. How degrading, to reduce guys to objects that we go after to please ourselves, based on their looks.
There are enough studies that have been done that show that watching porn, or the variety of things that run along those lines is very detrimental...especially when you are in a real relationship some day and married to the man or woman of your dreams. Memories don't die, especially when they are burned into our mind with pictures. And please...don't tell me that you have needs that you just have to fill, and justify it that way.
I know some of you will agree with what this post says in words...however, in actions you won't back up what you say is right. I'm sick of guys viewing girls and treating them as objects...I am sure guys can say the same thing about us girls. I'm also tierd of people who pretend this isn't a problem. Stop settling...open your eyes and don't candy-coat the world because it's easier to deal with that way.
But those are just my thoughts...and I'm just a girl preaching to the choir.
You see, I was sitting in Chapters with a good friend of mine. I was browsing the "House and Home" and "Hairstyle" section, while he was reading XBox magazines. Somehow, I'm afraid that whole sentence makes me sound quite girly. Anyhow, as he flipped through his magazine, he came to the back of the magazine only to realize that there were quite a few pages advertising porn, and adult call lines. Now, he was offended by the fact that they would put that type of advertising in a magazine that young children would be looking at, and a magazine that had nothing to do with porn. I kind of brushed it off, because I can understand the marketing behind it. After all, it's a mainly guy read magazine, it seems to make sense to use woman to sell it...that seems to be the trend of marketing in our society right now.
It was in that moment that I realized again that I have become so desensitized to the entire porn and woman bodies used to sell things that I pretty much have just come to accept it. I feel that the entire porn subject is totally avoided in church circles as the large elephant in the room that we don't dare discuss, and anywhere else it's just accepted that all guys are going to watch porn, check out woman's, make woman into trophies and rate their worth based on what they look like or can do.
Now, I'm not trying to say this is just a guys issue. I know there aren't as many girls who are addicted to porn as guys, but they are definitely out there. Not to mention, we are the girls who let ourselves be rated, become trophies, or believe that our purpose is to put out and please guys. We dress and act in a way to attract men, as if our very validation comes from how many guys heads turn when we walk down the street.
I believe that we have all lowered ourselves to a level below what we deserve or should have. You see, I think we need to stop settling for what we feel is the norm.
What would happen if girls stopped dressing to turn heads, but instead to show their feminity in a attractive an non-sexual way. What if guys stopped treating woman as objects, and sizing up every girl that walked by them. What if they stopped viewing girl's bodies as public property, and girls stopped viewing guys as objects to validate themselves. What if when a guy actually was with a girl, and he held her hand and told her she was beautiful, he didn't have any ulterior motives of getting something from her. And he honored her because he valued her.
I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but when a guy tell me that I'm hot, and then turns around and checks out the girl behind me, or expects me to give something in return because it's my job. I'm not really flattered.
What if we all stopped ignoring the large elephant in the room, and started addressing it. What if we called each other to higher standards, to treating people as real human beings not objects. I don't know how much more degrading you can get, then when you turn a woman into an object to please your desires. In that moment she no longer becomes a person, she is just an object, and you have treated her as such. The same goes for guys. So often I hear girls walking around talking about who's hot and who they want. How degrading, to reduce guys to objects that we go after to please ourselves, based on their looks.
There are enough studies that have been done that show that watching porn, or the variety of things that run along those lines is very detrimental...especially when you are in a real relationship some day and married to the man or woman of your dreams. Memories don't die, especially when they are burned into our mind with pictures. And please...don't tell me that you have needs that you just have to fill, and justify it that way.
I know some of you will agree with what this post says in words...however, in actions you won't back up what you say is right. I'm sick of guys viewing girls and treating them as objects...I am sure guys can say the same thing about us girls. I'm also tierd of people who pretend this isn't a problem. Stop settling...open your eyes and don't candy-coat the world because it's easier to deal with that way.
But those are just my thoughts...and I'm just a girl preaching to the choir.
Labels: Controversial Issues
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
I have been mulling over an idea in my head for a few weeks now, and to be honest I haven't come to a complete conclusion on this subject. My question is, has the church become too user friendly?
A big part of why this question came to the forefront of my mind recently, was due to a speaker we had in our church a few weeks ago. He is the pastor of a church plant that meets on Friday nights. The reason they meet Friday nights is due to the fact that many people work Sunday's and cannot make church, so they wanted to make it more convenient and accessible for people to attend church.
Now, something in that entire process stuck out in my head. I do believe the church should be reaching out to those around them. I think that if your church is not growing, you really need to ask some hard questions as to how you are doing things. We have been commanded by God to reach out to those around us, and spread the good news of the Bible. However, I feel like perhaps we've tried to make our churches so user friendly that we have watered down our convictions or tried to do away with having convictions on controversial topics in order to not offend. We've tried to make the church service something for non-churched people to feel comfortable in. We've brought in entertainment, shaken up the order of service, cracked more jokes, and focused on engaging people.
I'm not in any way condemning the church for having services on Friday evening. I don't believe that the day of the week is the most important, I think it's just important to be setting aside a day for God, and living out each day for God. We shouldn't be trying to fit God into our lives where we have space, but rather be living our lives with Christ at the center, and everything else rotating around that.
At the end of the day, Christianity is not convenient. It's not meant to be easy. In fact, there are numerous Bible verses that talk about being persecuted for your faith, or having to sacrifice things that you hold on to in order to serve God better. It kind of seems like we might be giving out conflicting messages when we try to bring church to the world's level, instead of teaching people that God is a holy God that demands respect.
I'm not saying by this that I think we should walk around with long serious faces, and never have fun. I truly believe there is great joy in knowing that your future is secure in God. I think that there is also a balance when it comes to church, you want people to be able to understand what is being preached, and be able to apply it to their lives. Like always there are two sides to the road, and churches must be careful not to fall into either side but rather balance along the center.
A big part of why this question came to the forefront of my mind recently, was due to a speaker we had in our church a few weeks ago. He is the pastor of a church plant that meets on Friday nights. The reason they meet Friday nights is due to the fact that many people work Sunday's and cannot make church, so they wanted to make it more convenient and accessible for people to attend church.
Now, something in that entire process stuck out in my head. I do believe the church should be reaching out to those around them. I think that if your church is not growing, you really need to ask some hard questions as to how you are doing things. We have been commanded by God to reach out to those around us, and spread the good news of the Bible. However, I feel like perhaps we've tried to make our churches so user friendly that we have watered down our convictions or tried to do away with having convictions on controversial topics in order to not offend. We've tried to make the church service something for non-churched people to feel comfortable in. We've brought in entertainment, shaken up the order of service, cracked more jokes, and focused on engaging people.
I'm not in any way condemning the church for having services on Friday evening. I don't believe that the day of the week is the most important, I think it's just important to be setting aside a day for God, and living out each day for God. We shouldn't be trying to fit God into our lives where we have space, but rather be living our lives with Christ at the center, and everything else rotating around that.
At the end of the day, Christianity is not convenient. It's not meant to be easy. In fact, there are numerous Bible verses that talk about being persecuted for your faith, or having to sacrifice things that you hold on to in order to serve God better. It kind of seems like we might be giving out conflicting messages when we try to bring church to the world's level, instead of teaching people that God is a holy God that demands respect.
I'm not saying by this that I think we should walk around with long serious faces, and never have fun. I truly believe there is great joy in knowing that your future is secure in God. I think that there is also a balance when it comes to church, you want people to be able to understand what is being preached, and be able to apply it to their lives. Like always there are two sides to the road, and churches must be careful not to fall into either side but rather balance along the center.
Labels: Controversial Issues
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Shrek said it best "Ogres are like onions." Now, it may seem strange that I am pulling my thoughts on people from a cartoon movie, yet more and more I have realized that this is true (well, replace ogres with people perhaps :)).
You see, last night we had a bible study on 1 John, and we talked about how we are commanded to love people in our lives, and if we do not love we do not have Christ in us. Most of us tend to define love as, not hate. So, basically if I don't hate you, then I must love you. Yet, love is so much more then that, it's actively participating in actions that prove that you love someone.
I find this very convicting. I am sure I am not alone when I say that I have been deeply hurt by people that were suppose to love me, or who I loved. The hurt does not just disappear over night, it's not like I rolled over one morning and thought, and “I love this person, despite what they did." I can generally forgive someone to an extent, and not be bitter about what happened...but to actively love them, that is where I fail. You see, I don't really pray for those who have hurt me deeply, other then perhaps for God to open their eyes to the damage they've caused. I don't pray that they will have a good day, or that they will feel God's closeness. Instead, I hold on to the pain, and justify not opening up to people in the future, because of what happened.
Now, I am not trying to lightly dismiss the fact that some people have been shattered by people who were suppose to love them, or claimed to love them. Trust is a big part of love, and it has to be earned in order for someone to truly open up to you.
At the same time, when I look at my own life, I use the hurt sometimes, as an excuse to not actively love, because I justify my reaction based on what was done to me.
Back to my onion comment...each person has layers in their lives...if I were to quickly define it; I would say each person has four general layers:
The outmost layer - which is the part of our personality that we reveal to the general public, and is the most superficial aspects of who we really are. Things such as weather, current events, etc.
The next layer - the part of us that we reveal around our friends and some acquaintances. More so, your attitudes towards work, certain emotions, and general thoughts about life.
Third layer - we tend to reserve this for those we have an intimate relationship with, such as a close friend or spouse. These relationships tend to take time to develop, and over that time trust is earned. It tends to be your goals, personal problems, fears, etc.
Last layer - contains the part of ourselves, which we don't share with anyone. It is our deepest and darkest secrets and thoughts, that we rather not acknowledge to ourselves, yet alone others.
I guess what I am saying is...love is not easy, yet it is commanded. I think that people, especially in Christian circles, need to love each other, but also understand that love is based on trust. People need to earn that trust, which may require hard work, and active love, especially if that trust has been shattered in the past.
You see, last night we had a bible study on 1 John, and we talked about how we are commanded to love people in our lives, and if we do not love we do not have Christ in us. Most of us tend to define love as, not hate. So, basically if I don't hate you, then I must love you. Yet, love is so much more then that, it's actively participating in actions that prove that you love someone.
I find this very convicting. I am sure I am not alone when I say that I have been deeply hurt by people that were suppose to love me, or who I loved. The hurt does not just disappear over night, it's not like I rolled over one morning and thought, and “I love this person, despite what they did." I can generally forgive someone to an extent, and not be bitter about what happened...but to actively love them, that is where I fail. You see, I don't really pray for those who have hurt me deeply, other then perhaps for God to open their eyes to the damage they've caused. I don't pray that they will have a good day, or that they will feel God's closeness. Instead, I hold on to the pain, and justify not opening up to people in the future, because of what happened.
Now, I am not trying to lightly dismiss the fact that some people have been shattered by people who were suppose to love them, or claimed to love them. Trust is a big part of love, and it has to be earned in order for someone to truly open up to you.
At the same time, when I look at my own life, I use the hurt sometimes, as an excuse to not actively love, because I justify my reaction based on what was done to me.
Back to my onion comment...each person has layers in their lives...if I were to quickly define it; I would say each person has four general layers:
The outmost layer - which is the part of our personality that we reveal to the general public, and is the most superficial aspects of who we really are. Things such as weather, current events, etc.
The next layer - the part of us that we reveal around our friends and some acquaintances. More so, your attitudes towards work, certain emotions, and general thoughts about life.
Third layer - we tend to reserve this for those we have an intimate relationship with, such as a close friend or spouse. These relationships tend to take time to develop, and over that time trust is earned. It tends to be your goals, personal problems, fears, etc.
Last layer - contains the part of ourselves, which we don't share with anyone. It is our deepest and darkest secrets and thoughts, that we rather not acknowledge to ourselves, yet alone others.
I guess what I am saying is...love is not easy, yet it is commanded. I think that people, especially in Christian circles, need to love each other, but also understand that love is based on trust. People need to earn that trust, which may require hard work, and active love, especially if that trust has been shattered in the past.
Labels: Controversial Issues, Spiritual
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Well, just in case people were starting to feel happy and non-offended, I decide to pull a controversial issue post on a topic that I know is going to make some people wonder if I've fallen off the deep end. Of course, as I tend to say at the beginning of these types of posts...this is meant to be controversial so you most likely will not agree, which is okay:)
How important is theology? I guess that is the question I have faced since moving out on my own, and I am sure many of you have or will face this question during your life. See, I grew up in a Reformed Calvinist home. Now, for those of you who don't know Reformed Calvinist place a high emphasis on theology. They see theology as a way to deepen your relationship with God as you learn more about Him and what He is saying through the Bible. Calvinism tends to be very Biblically based, and uses scripture to back up pretty much all of the truths held to by the Calvinist. I grew up in a church circle in which I learned the theological truths very early on in my life and could debate and argue the five points of Calvinism with the best of them.
The problem was not the theology, which was very sound and Biblically based; it was the fact that I believed my relationship with God was real and alive because I knew all these things about God. The problem was I knew about God, but the relationship I had with Him was not very real or alive. I had fallen into a works religion, in which I went through the motions, said and argued all the right things, and followed all the traditions.
I know some of you are going to argue that the theology was not at fault; however, it was my attitude. And I believe some of what you say is correct.
It wasn't until I moved out of my parent's home down to The Hat, that I really realized the entire world was not like me. Sure I had many friends, who came from different backgrounds, but the majority of my circles tended to be Reformed Calvinist.
I remember the Reformed church I attended in Medicine Hat. I went there for five weeks, before I stopped attending. The people didn't really talk to me; the youth totally did not talk to me, rather stared at me like I had two heads. I found the services to be going through the motions, and that attitude seemed to be reflected in the congregation. Now, I am sure there were some very nice people there, and I don't want to bash the church on a whole, but from my experience I have never been so embarrassed for a church in how they treated an outsider. If I had not grown up in the church, I don't think I ever would have gone to another church.
I eventually attended a Baptist church in The Hat. Most of you will be surprised that the fact is controversial, but to many people it seemed that I was becoming laid back and not viewing the theological issues as important. Do you know why I attended that church? It was because the people were friendly, and talked to me after the service, it was because the youth welcomed me into their group by the second time I attended a service, it was because the preaching was Biblical and I really enjoyed the fellowship.
I am going to say something - which some of you may have a problem with. Fellowship has become very important to me, to the point that if I attend a church, and they are completely sound Biblically, but there is no growth, and no fellowship, I am more likely to attend a church that I have a few disagreements with but has fellowship, then I am to attend the church that has all the right theology.
As I continue to make friends with completely different backgrounds, I am challenged. Because not everything is clear cut when you open up your circles, and expand your friendships. You see I am meeting people, who have completely different theological views, and yet their lives are on fire for God and their passion is to serve Him. And all I can do in the face of that is thank God for blessing me with people who encourage me to push on in my relationship with Him, and for the way He is broadening my views.
At the end of the day, have we made tiny issues that do not dictate your salvation into large issues to tear apart churches? Is there a problem with me worshiping beside someone who believes in speaking in tongues, or a woman who believes in adult baptism over infant baptism? I tend to think not, for the important thing is that we love God and our relationship with Him is real. It is not about if you have all the right theological arguments, it's about your love and relationship with and for God.
All that said, as much as some of you will assume I have forsaken everything I was taught while growing up - that is untrue. The Bible is my ultimate authority for what I believe in. I'm just excited for how God continues to make my relationship with Him more real and alive, and less going through the motions.
(Wow, that was way too long of a post:)
How important is theology? I guess that is the question I have faced since moving out on my own, and I am sure many of you have or will face this question during your life. See, I grew up in a Reformed Calvinist home. Now, for those of you who don't know Reformed Calvinist place a high emphasis on theology. They see theology as a way to deepen your relationship with God as you learn more about Him and what He is saying through the Bible. Calvinism tends to be very Biblically based, and uses scripture to back up pretty much all of the truths held to by the Calvinist. I grew up in a church circle in which I learned the theological truths very early on in my life and could debate and argue the five points of Calvinism with the best of them.
The problem was not the theology, which was very sound and Biblically based; it was the fact that I believed my relationship with God was real and alive because I knew all these things about God. The problem was I knew about God, but the relationship I had with Him was not very real or alive. I had fallen into a works religion, in which I went through the motions, said and argued all the right things, and followed all the traditions.
I know some of you are going to argue that the theology was not at fault; however, it was my attitude. And I believe some of what you say is correct.
It wasn't until I moved out of my parent's home down to The Hat, that I really realized the entire world was not like me. Sure I had many friends, who came from different backgrounds, but the majority of my circles tended to be Reformed Calvinist.
I remember the Reformed church I attended in Medicine Hat. I went there for five weeks, before I stopped attending. The people didn't really talk to me; the youth totally did not talk to me, rather stared at me like I had two heads. I found the services to be going through the motions, and that attitude seemed to be reflected in the congregation. Now, I am sure there were some very nice people there, and I don't want to bash the church on a whole, but from my experience I have never been so embarrassed for a church in how they treated an outsider. If I had not grown up in the church, I don't think I ever would have gone to another church.
I eventually attended a Baptist church in The Hat. Most of you will be surprised that the fact is controversial, but to many people it seemed that I was becoming laid back and not viewing the theological issues as important. Do you know why I attended that church? It was because the people were friendly, and talked to me after the service, it was because the youth welcomed me into their group by the second time I attended a service, it was because the preaching was Biblical and I really enjoyed the fellowship.
I am going to say something - which some of you may have a problem with. Fellowship has become very important to me, to the point that if I attend a church, and they are completely sound Biblically, but there is no growth, and no fellowship, I am more likely to attend a church that I have a few disagreements with but has fellowship, then I am to attend the church that has all the right theology.
As I continue to make friends with completely different backgrounds, I am challenged. Because not everything is clear cut when you open up your circles, and expand your friendships. You see I am meeting people, who have completely different theological views, and yet their lives are on fire for God and their passion is to serve Him. And all I can do in the face of that is thank God for blessing me with people who encourage me to push on in my relationship with Him, and for the way He is broadening my views.
At the end of the day, have we made tiny issues that do not dictate your salvation into large issues to tear apart churches? Is there a problem with me worshiping beside someone who believes in speaking in tongues, or a woman who believes in adult baptism over infant baptism? I tend to think not, for the important thing is that we love God and our relationship with Him is real. It is not about if you have all the right theological arguments, it's about your love and relationship with and for God.
All that said, as much as some of you will assume I have forsaken everything I was taught while growing up - that is untrue. The Bible is my ultimate authority for what I believe in. I'm just excited for how God continues to make my relationship with Him more real and alive, and less going through the motions.
(Wow, that was way too long of a post:)
Labels: Controversial Issues
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
So, I figured it was about time to shake things up a little here, and other then telling stories about flying pasta or pizza people, I figured a little bit of controversy should do the trick. Today I was sitting here at work, and I had to deal with yet another CAS case (which is normal for my job) in which the issue of discipline came up.
Now, just to provide some background here. It was recently decided in the Supreme Court that spanking one's child with an object is now a criminal offence in Canada. So, if someone were to find out that you physically discipline your child and you use an object, they would be obligated to report you, and you could spend time in jail for doing this. That being said, you are allowed to physically discipline your child using your hand on their buttocks if they are between the ages of 2 and 10.
Now, I do not have children so I believe I am a little biased on this issue, or perhaps even idealistic. However, I do not believe that physical discipline is necessary in raising children.
Now, I know right off the bat some of you are going to completely disagree with that statement. My guess is that those people who disagree for Biblical reasons will be quickly flipping through their Bibles in order to show me verses such as "Spare the rod, spoil the child" in Proverbs. I would like to point out something before you start quoting Bible verses in order to support your view. Proverbs does not say that you have to physically discipline your child in order for you to raise them in a Biblical way. It says that you need to discipline them, in order for them to realize what is right and wrong. I do believe that discipline is necessary when raising children; however, physically disciplining them by hitting them or some other form, I do not believe is necessary.
What frustrates me is that people within the Christian circles tend to automatically default to spanking, without trying other methods of discipline. When I was a child, you could spank me and I would feel bad - but take away my books for a week and I thought the world was going to end. I believe that there are many alternatives, and even better alternatives then physical discipline when trying to teach your child a lesson.
Perhaps my thoughts on this are based on me working at pregnancy centres and with the CAS...and thus seeing children who have been abused, or families who despite the fact that their children may be taken from them and they could face jail time refuse to stop spanking their children with an object. Perhaps I am giving up freedom for the sake of peace. But if I was facing jail time and the loss of my children over the fact that I used an object to physically discipline them, I would drop the object fairly quickly.
Do I think that making spanking a criminal offence is going to stop abuse? No, I really don't. Do I think families should have the right to choose whether or not they physically discipline their children? Within reason - yes. Do I think physical discipline is taught as necessary to raise Godly children in the Bible? At this time no.
In conclusion, I do not believe physical discipline is necessary in raising children. Perhaps I am idealistic, but I really hope I can follow my line of thought when I have my own children.
Now, just to provide some background here. It was recently decided in the Supreme Court that spanking one's child with an object is now a criminal offence in Canada. So, if someone were to find out that you physically discipline your child and you use an object, they would be obligated to report you, and you could spend time in jail for doing this. That being said, you are allowed to physically discipline your child using your hand on their buttocks if they are between the ages of 2 and 10.
Now, I do not have children so I believe I am a little biased on this issue, or perhaps even idealistic. However, I do not believe that physical discipline is necessary in raising children.
Now, I know right off the bat some of you are going to completely disagree with that statement. My guess is that those people who disagree for Biblical reasons will be quickly flipping through their Bibles in order to show me verses such as "Spare the rod, spoil the child" in Proverbs. I would like to point out something before you start quoting Bible verses in order to support your view. Proverbs does not say that you have to physically discipline your child in order for you to raise them in a Biblical way. It says that you need to discipline them, in order for them to realize what is right and wrong. I do believe that discipline is necessary when raising children; however, physically disciplining them by hitting them or some other form, I do not believe is necessary.
What frustrates me is that people within the Christian circles tend to automatically default to spanking, without trying other methods of discipline. When I was a child, you could spank me and I would feel bad - but take away my books for a week and I thought the world was going to end. I believe that there are many alternatives, and even better alternatives then physical discipline when trying to teach your child a lesson.
Perhaps my thoughts on this are based on me working at pregnancy centres and with the CAS...and thus seeing children who have been abused, or families who despite the fact that their children may be taken from them and they could face jail time refuse to stop spanking their children with an object. Perhaps I am giving up freedom for the sake of peace. But if I was facing jail time and the loss of my children over the fact that I used an object to physically discipline them, I would drop the object fairly quickly.
Do I think that making spanking a criminal offence is going to stop abuse? No, I really don't. Do I think families should have the right to choose whether or not they physically discipline their children? Within reason - yes. Do I think physical discipline is taught as necessary to raise Godly children in the Bible? At this time no.
In conclusion, I do not believe physical discipline is necessary in raising children. Perhaps I am idealistic, but I really hope I can follow my line of thought when I have my own children.
Labels: Controversial Issues
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Well, it's been a while since I wrote one of these posts which have the possibility to offend people. So, as I sit here listening to the rain hitting the glass and the leaves whistling in the wind, I decide to write a post about honesty. Now at first glance, honesty doesn't really seem like a controversial issue. I mean, aren't Christians commanded to be honest, isn't it a virtue that is appreciated by society at large (other then politics:), do we not promote and appreciate honesty? If you had asked me that question a few weeks ago, I most likely would of agreed stating something along the lines of "I've been burned by dishonesty, so I fully appreciate and love honesty in people and myself." I have now come to a different conclusion as life unfolds before me. Now, this post is not a personal jab at people, it is my thoughts on an issue that I have been mulling through my brain, so please do not take this personally (hence the controversial title).
I think people like to believe that they value honesty and want people to be honest with them, but I think that this way of thinking is delusional. You may claim to want honesty (as I would myself), but often when we are given the cold hard facts of honesty, we shirk away from it. I think we have created a society that wants the sugar-coated honesty.
I mean, let's face it, we have grown up in a society that greets each other with "how are you" and expects to hear in response "I am good." We have become isolated individuals, where the closest we tend to get to people is when we are struck in rush hour traffic, or an over crowded elevator. Unless I have an actual connection to you, I really don't want to hear if you had a horrible day, the cat barfed on your son's shoe, you missed the bus, your marriage is on the rocks, and you hate rain.
Even if I have a personal connection to you, there are times when I really don't want to hear about your day or the stuff that you're dealing with in your life. I'll tell you I want you to be honest with me, even if it hurts - but I really only like the honesty that makes me feel good, or doesn't challenge me. We have become experts at wearing masks, pretending that our lives are all together and we don't mess up other then the same things that everyone else struggles with. We tend to give these pious answers such as "Oh, pray for me, I'm struggling with pride, or selfishness."
Now, let me clarify that I am not bashing such requests or saying that they do not exist. But it's like we've put honesty in a nice little box and we never actually spill out the issues in our lives. It's not pretty to say "I've cheated on my wife, I like stealing from my company, I have played out in my mind a million times how I would kill that person I hate." Those are the kinds of truth we don't want to know about people, because it's messy - and it requires work above just the quick "please let Bob be less selfish, or Judy to not be so prideful."
I do not believe that in the name of honesty we should spill out every little thing that's ever happened to us or issue that we are struggling with. But as I look at my own life, I realize that it's really hard for me to be brutally honest with people, because I want them to think I'm this good Christian with my life all together, and my biggest struggles are just the standard - I have pride issues. But, it's not true...there is some ugly stuff that I have/am dealing with, and it's not pretty, and people don't like to hear about it, because it's messy.
I suppose you may completely disagree with me, which you are entitled to do. But I have a feeling there is more then just me who likes the candy-coated honesty that we have gotten used to. I am going to guess that we tend to judge the people that are honest about their lives and it's not really pretty. I'm also going to hope that you will try to live without your mask, even though it's painful - and let other people see that you are a real person who struggles with real issues. My prayer is that I will become more honest, even when it makes me look bad, my prayer is that you will do the same.
I think people like to believe that they value honesty and want people to be honest with them, but I think that this way of thinking is delusional. You may claim to want honesty (as I would myself), but often when we are given the cold hard facts of honesty, we shirk away from it. I think we have created a society that wants the sugar-coated honesty.
I mean, let's face it, we have grown up in a society that greets each other with "how are you" and expects to hear in response "I am good." We have become isolated individuals, where the closest we tend to get to people is when we are struck in rush hour traffic, or an over crowded elevator. Unless I have an actual connection to you, I really don't want to hear if you had a horrible day, the cat barfed on your son's shoe, you missed the bus, your marriage is on the rocks, and you hate rain.
Even if I have a personal connection to you, there are times when I really don't want to hear about your day or the stuff that you're dealing with in your life. I'll tell you I want you to be honest with me, even if it hurts - but I really only like the honesty that makes me feel good, or doesn't challenge me. We have become experts at wearing masks, pretending that our lives are all together and we don't mess up other then the same things that everyone else struggles with. We tend to give these pious answers such as "Oh, pray for me, I'm struggling with pride, or selfishness."
Now, let me clarify that I am not bashing such requests or saying that they do not exist. But it's like we've put honesty in a nice little box and we never actually spill out the issues in our lives. It's not pretty to say "I've cheated on my wife, I like stealing from my company, I have played out in my mind a million times how I would kill that person I hate." Those are the kinds of truth we don't want to know about people, because it's messy - and it requires work above just the quick "please let Bob be less selfish, or Judy to not be so prideful."
I do not believe that in the name of honesty we should spill out every little thing that's ever happened to us or issue that we are struggling with. But as I look at my own life, I realize that it's really hard for me to be brutally honest with people, because I want them to think I'm this good Christian with my life all together, and my biggest struggles are just the standard - I have pride issues. But, it's not true...there is some ugly stuff that I have/am dealing with, and it's not pretty, and people don't like to hear about it, because it's messy.
I suppose you may completely disagree with me, which you are entitled to do. But I have a feeling there is more then just me who likes the candy-coated honesty that we have gotten used to. I am going to guess that we tend to judge the people that are honest about their lives and it's not really pretty. I'm also going to hope that you will try to live without your mask, even though it's painful - and let other people see that you are a real person who struggles with real issues. My prayer is that I will become more honest, even when it makes me look bad, my prayer is that you will do the same.
Labels: Controversial Issues