Z SoccerChic9: April 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007

19th non-birthday cake ever. Props to Riley for getting me the best cake I think I've ever had (though the one my dad made when I was like 8, with the man who's coconut beard caught on fire during the lighting of the candles was pretty cool), and most likely ever will have. Totally made my non-birthday day. And just so you all can see, I've included a picture so you can see her.

I had a great day...some good times with friends and family...yay for turning 19!


Friday, April 13, 2007
So, the story goes like this...last night I came home from work, and as I was walking down my stairs, I noticed that the cover to the small cubby hole that holds the sun pump was off, and the light was on inside. I thought that to be rather odd, as I am the only one who uses the back door entrance, so I peaked in side to see if I could find out why it was open - only to come face-to-face with a racoon. I am proud of myself for not screaming, and also for getting into my house with him sitting there watching me. I talked to him about how mean it would be to jump at me and attack me, and he seemed to understand because he didn't make a move to bite my ankles.

I soon realized that Bob had no intentions of leaving his new home, and either I would have to get him to sign a lease agreement (which of course included a clause about him not attacking me when I walked by), or he would have to leave. The problem being, he was cornered, and I had no way of getting behind him to get him out. I did consider attempting to pick him up while he was sleeping, but it looked like he hadn't cut his nails in quite some time, and I rather not live my life with half my face missing because I was that dumb girl who thought she could pick up a racoon.

Now, I feel girly admitting this, but Ryan and Riley are certified racoon removers...or at least that's what they convinced me of, and since Bob wouldn't leave for me, even though I asked him nicely, they came over to help me out. Poor Bob, he really didn't want to leave, but after some gentle convincing, and Bob showing us his ninja skills, he chased Ryan up the stairs and across the patio...and then high-tailed over to the neighbour's house.

I was sure I'd walk out the door this morning and be greeted by Bob and his entire clan coming back for avengance, but I didn't see him around this morning. So, either he is plotting for some time this weekend, when Jello comes to visit, or he was scarred enough to never come back. I'm hoping for the later.

On a side note - Jello comes tomorrow, and I am so excited...you have no idea, it's been the high light of my life for like the last two months, and I cannot wait to spend time with her!!

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Thursday, April 12, 2007
Now there are some definate advantages to living on your own, you get to make your own rules, leave your dirty laundry all over the floor if you want, sing out loud to music at any time of the day, and never do the dishes until they start crawling out of the sink.

However, there are some disadvantages to living on your own, which I have realized as I am on my second year of braving the wild world of independence all by myself. Here are a few reasons why you may want to re-consider the entire candy-coated dream of living on your own:

1) When you are sick, you just have to pray that you don't die all by yourself without anyone realizing, and have a cat eat your face or something. (I think I've been watching too much CSI).

2) You cannot blame anyone else for putting the milk container back into the fridge with only three drops of milk on the bottom. It's all your fault when this happens.

3) You can't guilt someone else into doing the dishes when they are crawling out of the sink with the legs they grew after four weeks of inhabiting the same space.

4) You can't get all excited over all the mail in the mailbox - you live on your own, just face it, all you get is bills.

5) When people come over and notice that your house looks like a hurricane hit it, you can't blame it on your room mate, we all know that you're a slob and you haven't cleaned your apartment since the last time your parents came for a visit a year ago.

6) There's no loose change laying around that you can "borrow" for pizza. Either you have it, or you don't...and more then likely, you're gonna have to skip on that pizza.

7) You don't get room mates concerned parents sending care packages with food in it, because they are afraid their child is going to die. You gotta actually open packages and make food for yourself.

8) You have to get used to laughing out loud, and then realizing that you are only going to be greeted by silence. It makes movies less funny somehow.

Now, that may sound depressing...and perhaps some days it is...but for the most part, living on your own can be pretty great! You may develop some weird habits, like sitting in corners and humming or singing to yourself...but don't worry, as long as you're maintaining some level of sanity, the world is a happier place!


Wednesday, April 04, 2007
not that I would ever try to annoy people on purpose, I just have a bad habit of doing it without realizing it :) I figure if I give the same ideas to everyone...then we all have the same advantage...or something!

1. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

2. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

3. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

4. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

5. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

6. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

7. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

8. Sniffle incessantly.

9. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

10. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

11. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

12. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

13. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

14. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

15. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

16. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

17. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

18. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

19. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

20. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

21. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

22. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.

23. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

24. Honk and wave to strangers.

25. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

26. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

27. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

28. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

29. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

30. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

31. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

32. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

33. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

34. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

35. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

36. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

37. Ask people what gender they are.

38. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.\

39. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

40. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

41. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

42. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

43. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

44. Sing along at the opera.

45. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

46. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

47. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

48. Never break eye contact.

49. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.


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