Tuesday, August 21, 2007
At the risk of being called old fashioned and out-dated, not that I really care to be honest, I figured I'd tackle one of the most controversial issues yet in my controversial thread of topics. This thought has been sitting in the back of my mind for quite some time, and it recently came back to the forefront this week.
You see, I was sitting in Chapters with a good friend of mine. I was browsing the "House and Home" and "Hairstyle" section, while he was reading XBox magazines. Somehow, I'm afraid that whole sentence makes me sound quite girly. Anyhow, as he flipped through his magazine, he came to the back of the magazine only to realize that there were quite a few pages advertising porn, and adult call lines. Now, he was offended by the fact that they would put that type of advertising in a magazine that young children would be looking at, and a magazine that had nothing to do with porn. I kind of brushed it off, because I can understand the marketing behind it. After all, it's a mainly guy read magazine, it seems to make sense to use woman to sell it...that seems to be the trend of marketing in our society right now.
It was in that moment that I realized again that I have become so desensitized to the entire porn and woman bodies used to sell things that I pretty much have just come to accept it. I feel that the entire porn subject is totally avoided in church circles as the large elephant in the room that we don't dare discuss, and anywhere else it's just accepted that all guys are going to watch porn, check out woman's, make woman into trophies and rate their worth based on what they look like or can do.
Now, I'm not trying to say this is just a guys issue. I know there aren't as many girls who are addicted to porn as guys, but they are definitely out there. Not to mention, we are the girls who let ourselves be rated, become trophies, or believe that our purpose is to put out and please guys. We dress and act in a way to attract men, as if our very validation comes from how many guys heads turn when we walk down the street.
I believe that we have all lowered ourselves to a level below what we deserve or should have. You see, I think we need to stop settling for what we feel is the norm.
What would happen if girls stopped dressing to turn heads, but instead to show their feminity in a attractive an non-sexual way. What if guys stopped treating woman as objects, and sizing up every girl that walked by them. What if they stopped viewing girl's bodies as public property, and girls stopped viewing guys as objects to validate themselves. What if when a guy actually was with a girl, and he held her hand and told her she was beautiful, he didn't have any ulterior motives of getting something from her. And he honored her because he valued her.
I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but when a guy tell me that I'm hot, and then turns around and checks out the girl behind me, or expects me to give something in return because it's my job. I'm not really flattered.
What if we all stopped ignoring the large elephant in the room, and started addressing it. What if we called each other to higher standards, to treating people as real human beings not objects. I don't know how much more degrading you can get, then when you turn a woman into an object to please your desires. In that moment she no longer becomes a person, she is just an object, and you have treated her as such. The same goes for guys. So often I hear girls walking around talking about who's hot and who they want. How degrading, to reduce guys to objects that we go after to please ourselves, based on their looks.
There are enough studies that have been done that show that watching porn, or the variety of things that run along those lines is very detrimental...especially when you are in a real relationship some day and married to the man or woman of your dreams. Memories don't die, especially when they are burned into our mind with pictures. And please...don't tell me that you have needs that you just have to fill, and justify it that way.
I know some of you will agree with what this post says in words...however, in actions you won't back up what you say is right. I'm sick of guys viewing girls and treating them as objects...I am sure guys can say the same thing about us girls. I'm also tierd of people who pretend this isn't a problem. Stop settling...open your eyes and don't candy-coat the world because it's easier to deal with that way.
But those are just my thoughts...and I'm just a girl preaching to the choir.
You see, I was sitting in Chapters with a good friend of mine. I was browsing the "House and Home" and "Hairstyle" section, while he was reading XBox magazines. Somehow, I'm afraid that whole sentence makes me sound quite girly. Anyhow, as he flipped through his magazine, he came to the back of the magazine only to realize that there were quite a few pages advertising porn, and adult call lines. Now, he was offended by the fact that they would put that type of advertising in a magazine that young children would be looking at, and a magazine that had nothing to do with porn. I kind of brushed it off, because I can understand the marketing behind it. After all, it's a mainly guy read magazine, it seems to make sense to use woman to sell it...that seems to be the trend of marketing in our society right now.
It was in that moment that I realized again that I have become so desensitized to the entire porn and woman bodies used to sell things that I pretty much have just come to accept it. I feel that the entire porn subject is totally avoided in church circles as the large elephant in the room that we don't dare discuss, and anywhere else it's just accepted that all guys are going to watch porn, check out woman's, make woman into trophies and rate their worth based on what they look like or can do.
Now, I'm not trying to say this is just a guys issue. I know there aren't as many girls who are addicted to porn as guys, but they are definitely out there. Not to mention, we are the girls who let ourselves be rated, become trophies, or believe that our purpose is to put out and please guys. We dress and act in a way to attract men, as if our very validation comes from how many guys heads turn when we walk down the street.
I believe that we have all lowered ourselves to a level below what we deserve or should have. You see, I think we need to stop settling for what we feel is the norm.
What would happen if girls stopped dressing to turn heads, but instead to show their feminity in a attractive an non-sexual way. What if guys stopped treating woman as objects, and sizing up every girl that walked by them. What if they stopped viewing girl's bodies as public property, and girls stopped viewing guys as objects to validate themselves. What if when a guy actually was with a girl, and he held her hand and told her she was beautiful, he didn't have any ulterior motives of getting something from her. And he honored her because he valued her.
I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but when a guy tell me that I'm hot, and then turns around and checks out the girl behind me, or expects me to give something in return because it's my job. I'm not really flattered.
What if we all stopped ignoring the large elephant in the room, and started addressing it. What if we called each other to higher standards, to treating people as real human beings not objects. I don't know how much more degrading you can get, then when you turn a woman into an object to please your desires. In that moment she no longer becomes a person, she is just an object, and you have treated her as such. The same goes for guys. So often I hear girls walking around talking about who's hot and who they want. How degrading, to reduce guys to objects that we go after to please ourselves, based on their looks.
There are enough studies that have been done that show that watching porn, or the variety of things that run along those lines is very detrimental...especially when you are in a real relationship some day and married to the man or woman of your dreams. Memories don't die, especially when they are burned into our mind with pictures. And please...don't tell me that you have needs that you just have to fill, and justify it that way.
I know some of you will agree with what this post says in words...however, in actions you won't back up what you say is right. I'm sick of guys viewing girls and treating them as objects...I am sure guys can say the same thing about us girls. I'm also tierd of people who pretend this isn't a problem. Stop settling...open your eyes and don't candy-coat the world because it's easier to deal with that way.
But those are just my thoughts...and I'm just a girl preaching to the choir.
Labels: Controversial Issues