Thursday, March 08, 2007
Shrek said it best "Ogres are like onions." Now, it may seem strange that I am pulling my thoughts on people from a cartoon movie, yet more and more I have realized that this is true (well, replace ogres with people perhaps :)).
You see, last night we had a bible study on 1 John, and we talked about how we are commanded to love people in our lives, and if we do not love we do not have Christ in us. Most of us tend to define love as, not hate. So, basically if I don't hate you, then I must love you. Yet, love is so much more then that, it's actively participating in actions that prove that you love someone.
I find this very convicting. I am sure I am not alone when I say that I have been deeply hurt by people that were suppose to love me, or who I loved. The hurt does not just disappear over night, it's not like I rolled over one morning and thought, and “I love this person, despite what they did." I can generally forgive someone to an extent, and not be bitter about what happened...but to actively love them, that is where I fail. You see, I don't really pray for those who have hurt me deeply, other then perhaps for God to open their eyes to the damage they've caused. I don't pray that they will have a good day, or that they will feel God's closeness. Instead, I hold on to the pain, and justify not opening up to people in the future, because of what happened.
Now, I am not trying to lightly dismiss the fact that some people have been shattered by people who were suppose to love them, or claimed to love them. Trust is a big part of love, and it has to be earned in order for someone to truly open up to you.
At the same time, when I look at my own life, I use the hurt sometimes, as an excuse to not actively love, because I justify my reaction based on what was done to me.
Back to my onion comment...each person has layers in their lives...if I were to quickly define it; I would say each person has four general layers:
The outmost layer - which is the part of our personality that we reveal to the general public, and is the most superficial aspects of who we really are. Things such as weather, current events, etc.
The next layer - the part of us that we reveal around our friends and some acquaintances. More so, your attitudes towards work, certain emotions, and general thoughts about life.
Third layer - we tend to reserve this for those we have an intimate relationship with, such as a close friend or spouse. These relationships tend to take time to develop, and over that time trust is earned. It tends to be your goals, personal problems, fears, etc.
Last layer - contains the part of ourselves, which we don't share with anyone. It is our deepest and darkest secrets and thoughts, that we rather not acknowledge to ourselves, yet alone others.
I guess what I am saying is...love is not easy, yet it is commanded. I think that people, especially in Christian circles, need to love each other, but also understand that love is based on trust. People need to earn that trust, which may require hard work, and active love, especially if that trust has been shattered in the past.
You see, last night we had a bible study on 1 John, and we talked about how we are commanded to love people in our lives, and if we do not love we do not have Christ in us. Most of us tend to define love as, not hate. So, basically if I don't hate you, then I must love you. Yet, love is so much more then that, it's actively participating in actions that prove that you love someone.
I find this very convicting. I am sure I am not alone when I say that I have been deeply hurt by people that were suppose to love me, or who I loved. The hurt does not just disappear over night, it's not like I rolled over one morning and thought, and “I love this person, despite what they did." I can generally forgive someone to an extent, and not be bitter about what happened...but to actively love them, that is where I fail. You see, I don't really pray for those who have hurt me deeply, other then perhaps for God to open their eyes to the damage they've caused. I don't pray that they will have a good day, or that they will feel God's closeness. Instead, I hold on to the pain, and justify not opening up to people in the future, because of what happened.
Now, I am not trying to lightly dismiss the fact that some people have been shattered by people who were suppose to love them, or claimed to love them. Trust is a big part of love, and it has to be earned in order for someone to truly open up to you.
At the same time, when I look at my own life, I use the hurt sometimes, as an excuse to not actively love, because I justify my reaction based on what was done to me.
Back to my onion comment...each person has layers in their lives...if I were to quickly define it; I would say each person has four general layers:
The outmost layer - which is the part of our personality that we reveal to the general public, and is the most superficial aspects of who we really are. Things such as weather, current events, etc.
The next layer - the part of us that we reveal around our friends and some acquaintances. More so, your attitudes towards work, certain emotions, and general thoughts about life.
Third layer - we tend to reserve this for those we have an intimate relationship with, such as a close friend or spouse. These relationships tend to take time to develop, and over that time trust is earned. It tends to be your goals, personal problems, fears, etc.
Last layer - contains the part of ourselves, which we don't share with anyone. It is our deepest and darkest secrets and thoughts, that we rather not acknowledge to ourselves, yet alone others.
I guess what I am saying is...love is not easy, yet it is commanded. I think that people, especially in Christian circles, need to love each other, but also understand that love is based on trust. People need to earn that trust, which may require hard work, and active love, especially if that trust has been shattered in the past.
Labels: Controversial Issues, Spiritual