Z SoccerChic9: Sometimes life is painful...
Sunday, November 05, 2006
If you don't identify with the title of this post, then you really need not bother reading what follows it. If you don't identify with the title, then I haven't made up my mind if you are dellusional, or just live in some kind of box on a mountain somewhere (in which case, I have no idea how you have access to the internet).

There was a while ago when the Coldplay song..."No one ever said life was going to be easy, but they never said it would be this hard." was my theme song. Sometimes life throws things at you, and they leave you breathless and shaking. Sometimes life gets really really tough, and you're not really sure how you're going to make it through the next five minutes. Where the mountains are so big and the valley so deep that you physically feel you cannot last another day. Some of us gave up at that point, it may not have been as drastic as physically taking our lives...it could be that we just plain gave up. I know that feeling...physically being alive, but other then that I was just existing. Life would get so tough that breathing seemed like an accomplishment. And so we decide that we don't really care about life anymore, we live in the moment without regrets, because it's just easier that way.

If you've never been so low in your life that you've felt like this, then you really won't understand what I am saying (thank God for that). But, if you've been to the valley, or are currently walking the valley...then I think you understand where I am coming from. You're the kind of person that has a hard time singing the words from the song "Blessed be your name"

"Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name"

I mean, how can a perfect God who loves you, let you hurt so deeply. You know the right words, you know what the Bible says, or how that view is incorrect, and yet you feel it so deeply, and you don't understand.

I am not here to say life is easy, I would never claim that. But, I am here as someone who has survived life being painfully difficult...thanks to God, and who is not afraid to live life, despite the fact that I know there will be pain involved. I won't lie, there are scars and baggage that come with painful situations..and sometimes you just don't want to trust again..because you don't want to hurt. Yet through your pain...God often strips you away to your very barest...until you can only painfully admit, that you cannot do it on your own.

If because of the pain I have a real relationship with God that is not about going through the motions or just knowing the words - then I think it has been more then worth it. But those are just my thoughts on life...you are free to disagree.

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