Z SoccerChic9: But...what kind of God is He?
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I grew up seeing God as a perfectionist. A rather distant person, who loved me in theory, but was more of a harsh dictator, then a loving father. I believed that I had to earn His love, and if I didn't follow His commandments or do what He wanted, then I wouldn't get what I wanted. I often spent my life trying to keep certain things in my hands, and not give them up to God, cause I felt like the moment I was happy, or really wanted something, I either would lose it, or would never get it in the first place.

I guess it was like the show Lost to me. The moment someone is in love, or happy on that show, it seems like something drastic happens. Either they lose the person they love, a polar bear attacks someone on an island (no idea how polar bears got there), the Canadian guy goes crazy and attacks people (must be an American show), or someone decides to find a guy and ends up accidently shooting the girl who the guy loves.

To me, that was life. If you wanted something, or loved something, then you were going to lose it. I've realized in the past few years, that my view of God is warped; however, I didn't seem to be able to change it. I'm actually not even really sure why I started thinking of God in that way.

God has started to show me, that I can never earn His love. That He loves me unconditionally, not based on what I do, or how I "earn" His love, but because I am His child. I am starting to learn what unconditional love truly is. I have done some crazy things in the past, things that I know would not please God or make Him happy, yet despite that He has blessed me. He has opened doors, gave me opportunities I did not deserve, and show me love despite the fact that over and over again, I mess up.

What is your view of God? Is it a harsh dictator who has turned His back on the world, and watches it fall apart and doesn't care? Or is He a loving father to you, who you can do nothing to earn more of His love, or make Him love you less?

I think when we start believing that the amount of God's love and blessing is determined on what we do, we have taken things into our own hands, and have started believing and following a works religion. I think that is the utmost of pride - thinking we can earn God's love. I'm not saying that our lives should not be changed, and the fruit be God honouring, but I really wondering how many people's view of God is extremely warped.

What is God to you?


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