Thursday, August 30, 2007
I grew up seeing God as a perfectionist. A rather distant person, who loved me in theory, but was more of a harsh dictator, then a loving father. I believed that I had to earn His love, and if I didn't follow His commandments or do what He wanted, then I wouldn't get what I wanted. I often spent my life trying to keep certain things in my hands, and not give them up to God, cause I felt like the moment I was happy, or really wanted something, I either would lose it, or would never get it in the first place.
I guess it was like the show Lost to me. The moment someone is in love, or happy on that show, it seems like something drastic happens. Either they lose the person they love, a polar bear attacks someone on an island (no idea how polar bears got there), the Canadian guy goes crazy and attacks people (must be an American show), or someone decides to find a guy and ends up accidently shooting the girl who the guy loves.
To me, that was life. If you wanted something, or loved something, then you were going to lose it. I've realized in the past few years, that my view of God is warped; however, I didn't seem to be able to change it. I'm actually not even really sure why I started thinking of God in that way.
God has started to show me, that I can never earn His love. That He loves me unconditionally, not based on what I do, or how I "earn" His love, but because I am His child. I am starting to learn what unconditional love truly is. I have done some crazy things in the past, things that I know would not please God or make Him happy, yet despite that He has blessed me. He has opened doors, gave me opportunities I did not deserve, and show me love despite the fact that over and over again, I mess up.
What is your view of God? Is it a harsh dictator who has turned His back on the world, and watches it fall apart and doesn't care? Or is He a loving father to you, who you can do nothing to earn more of His love, or make Him love you less?
I think when we start believing that the amount of God's love and blessing is determined on what we do, we have taken things into our own hands, and have started believing and following a works religion. I think that is the utmost of pride - thinking we can earn God's love. I'm not saying that our lives should not be changed, and the fruit be God honouring, but I really wondering how many people's view of God is extremely warped.
What is God to you?
I guess it was like the show Lost to me. The moment someone is in love, or happy on that show, it seems like something drastic happens. Either they lose the person they love, a polar bear attacks someone on an island (no idea how polar bears got there), the Canadian guy goes crazy and attacks people (must be an American show), or someone decides to find a guy and ends up accidently shooting the girl who the guy loves.
To me, that was life. If you wanted something, or loved something, then you were going to lose it. I've realized in the past few years, that my view of God is warped; however, I didn't seem to be able to change it. I'm actually not even really sure why I started thinking of God in that way.
God has started to show me, that I can never earn His love. That He loves me unconditionally, not based on what I do, or how I "earn" His love, but because I am His child. I am starting to learn what unconditional love truly is. I have done some crazy things in the past, things that I know would not please God or make Him happy, yet despite that He has blessed me. He has opened doors, gave me opportunities I did not deserve, and show me love despite the fact that over and over again, I mess up.
What is your view of God? Is it a harsh dictator who has turned His back on the world, and watches it fall apart and doesn't care? Or is He a loving father to you, who you can do nothing to earn more of His love, or make Him love you less?
I think when we start believing that the amount of God's love and blessing is determined on what we do, we have taken things into our own hands, and have started believing and following a works religion. I think that is the utmost of pride - thinking we can earn God's love. I'm not saying that our lives should not be changed, and the fruit be God honouring, but I really wondering how many people's view of God is extremely warped.
What is God to you?
Labels: Spiritual
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Well, there are many reasons why I love her...but the last point on her recent blog post made me smile:
4 - I'm in love with my husband. (I'm also a little ticked at him for not showing himself yet. I'll get over that though) I love that he is going to love me for me. I love that he's going to give me hugs when I've had a long day at work. I love that he's going to be an awesome dad. I love that he's going to cook for me. (and sometimes I'll cook for him) I love that he's not going to compare me to the blonde bimbo walking past us in the restaurant....because he's only got eyes for me. I love that when the day comes, he's going to count our wrinkles and lose - because I'll have the mostest. I love that he's going to be...just be. Mine.
What girl doesn't want that. You rock girl!
4 - I'm in love with my husband. (I'm also a little ticked at him for not showing himself yet. I'll get over that though) I love that he is going to love me for me. I love that he's going to give me hugs when I've had a long day at work. I love that he's going to be an awesome dad. I love that he's going to cook for me. (and sometimes I'll cook for him) I love that he's not going to compare me to the blonde bimbo walking past us in the restaurant....because he's only got eyes for me. I love that when the day comes, he's going to count our wrinkles and lose - because I'll have the mostest. I love that he's going to be...just be. Mine.
What girl doesn't want that. You rock girl!
Labels: Relationships
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Do we truly believe that nothing is impossible for God? We say that God is all powerful, that he knows all things, that he has a perfect plan and purpose in everything. Yet, do we truly believe that. When someone we love is dying, do we trust that God will do what's best, and that nothing is impossible for Him? When that person we love doesn't know the Lord, do we truly believe God is going to touch their life in a powerful and amazing way? When our job is tough, our children turn their back on us, after four years of trying we still don't have kids, a sickness touches the ones we love, or a disaster shakes our world. In those moments, of greatest pain and hardship, do we trust that God has a perfect plan, and with Him, nothing is impossible?
I know I don't. I like to control things...and those of you who know me can testify to that. I like to know where my life is going five years in advance. I'll tell you that I believe God has a perfect plan and purpose in all things, but often I try to control all things. It's like I'll give something to God, tell Him that I believe he'll do the right thing, and five minutes later I'm trying to wrestle it from his grasp and claim it.
So often we pray for rain, but leave our umbrella's at home. We ask God for things, fully expecting to never receive them. I wonder what would happen if we started to ask things of God, and expect great things to happen. What would happen if I truly believed that God has my best interest in mind, and so I trust Him with my life, and that He will open the doors and close them where He sees fit. What if instead of just saying that I believe God has a purpose in everything, I started backing it up with my actions?
Why is it so hard for me to let go and give God what is His in the first place? Because at the end of the day, this isn't my apartment, or my car, or my money. This isn't my job, or my health, my family, or the people I love. It's God's, and he's just blessed me with it.
If someone gives you a great gift, that you never deserved, never dreamed possible, and was far greater then anything you could imagine. If someone died for you, so that you could live...wouldn't you want to share that love with people around you?
I know I don't. I like to control things...and those of you who know me can testify to that. I like to know where my life is going five years in advance. I'll tell you that I believe God has a perfect plan and purpose in all things, but often I try to control all things. It's like I'll give something to God, tell Him that I believe he'll do the right thing, and five minutes later I'm trying to wrestle it from his grasp and claim it.
So often we pray for rain, but leave our umbrella's at home. We ask God for things, fully expecting to never receive them. I wonder what would happen if we started to ask things of God, and expect great things to happen. What would happen if I truly believed that God has my best interest in mind, and so I trust Him with my life, and that He will open the doors and close them where He sees fit. What if instead of just saying that I believe God has a purpose in everything, I started backing it up with my actions?
Why is it so hard for me to let go and give God what is His in the first place? Because at the end of the day, this isn't my apartment, or my car, or my money. This isn't my job, or my health, my family, or the people I love. It's God's, and he's just blessed me with it.
If someone gives you a great gift, that you never deserved, never dreamed possible, and was far greater then anything you could imagine. If someone died for you, so that you could live...wouldn't you want to share that love with people around you?
Labels: Spiritual
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
At the risk of being called old fashioned and out-dated, not that I really care to be honest, I figured I'd tackle one of the most controversial issues yet in my controversial thread of topics. This thought has been sitting in the back of my mind for quite some time, and it recently came back to the forefront this week.
You see, I was sitting in Chapters with a good friend of mine. I was browsing the "House and Home" and "Hairstyle" section, while he was reading XBox magazines. Somehow, I'm afraid that whole sentence makes me sound quite girly. Anyhow, as he flipped through his magazine, he came to the back of the magazine only to realize that there were quite a few pages advertising porn, and adult call lines. Now, he was offended by the fact that they would put that type of advertising in a magazine that young children would be looking at, and a magazine that had nothing to do with porn. I kind of brushed it off, because I can understand the marketing behind it. After all, it's a mainly guy read magazine, it seems to make sense to use woman to sell it...that seems to be the trend of marketing in our society right now.
It was in that moment that I realized again that I have become so desensitized to the entire porn and woman bodies used to sell things that I pretty much have just come to accept it. I feel that the entire porn subject is totally avoided in church circles as the large elephant in the room that we don't dare discuss, and anywhere else it's just accepted that all guys are going to watch porn, check out woman's, make woman into trophies and rate their worth based on what they look like or can do.
Now, I'm not trying to say this is just a guys issue. I know there aren't as many girls who are addicted to porn as guys, but they are definitely out there. Not to mention, we are the girls who let ourselves be rated, become trophies, or believe that our purpose is to put out and please guys. We dress and act in a way to attract men, as if our very validation comes from how many guys heads turn when we walk down the street.
I believe that we have all lowered ourselves to a level below what we deserve or should have. You see, I think we need to stop settling for what we feel is the norm.
What would happen if girls stopped dressing to turn heads, but instead to show their feminity in a attractive an non-sexual way. What if guys stopped treating woman as objects, and sizing up every girl that walked by them. What if they stopped viewing girl's bodies as public property, and girls stopped viewing guys as objects to validate themselves. What if when a guy actually was with a girl, and he held her hand and told her she was beautiful, he didn't have any ulterior motives of getting something from her. And he honored her because he valued her.
I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but when a guy tell me that I'm hot, and then turns around and checks out the girl behind me, or expects me to give something in return because it's my job. I'm not really flattered.
What if we all stopped ignoring the large elephant in the room, and started addressing it. What if we called each other to higher standards, to treating people as real human beings not objects. I don't know how much more degrading you can get, then when you turn a woman into an object to please your desires. In that moment she no longer becomes a person, she is just an object, and you have treated her as such. The same goes for guys. So often I hear girls walking around talking about who's hot and who they want. How degrading, to reduce guys to objects that we go after to please ourselves, based on their looks.
There are enough studies that have been done that show that watching porn, or the variety of things that run along those lines is very detrimental...especially when you are in a real relationship some day and married to the man or woman of your dreams. Memories don't die, especially when they are burned into our mind with pictures. And please...don't tell me that you have needs that you just have to fill, and justify it that way.
I know some of you will agree with what this post says in words...however, in actions you won't back up what you say is right. I'm sick of guys viewing girls and treating them as objects...I am sure guys can say the same thing about us girls. I'm also tierd of people who pretend this isn't a problem. Stop settling...open your eyes and don't candy-coat the world because it's easier to deal with that way.
But those are just my thoughts...and I'm just a girl preaching to the choir.
You see, I was sitting in Chapters with a good friend of mine. I was browsing the "House and Home" and "Hairstyle" section, while he was reading XBox magazines. Somehow, I'm afraid that whole sentence makes me sound quite girly. Anyhow, as he flipped through his magazine, he came to the back of the magazine only to realize that there were quite a few pages advertising porn, and adult call lines. Now, he was offended by the fact that they would put that type of advertising in a magazine that young children would be looking at, and a magazine that had nothing to do with porn. I kind of brushed it off, because I can understand the marketing behind it. After all, it's a mainly guy read magazine, it seems to make sense to use woman to sell it...that seems to be the trend of marketing in our society right now.
It was in that moment that I realized again that I have become so desensitized to the entire porn and woman bodies used to sell things that I pretty much have just come to accept it. I feel that the entire porn subject is totally avoided in church circles as the large elephant in the room that we don't dare discuss, and anywhere else it's just accepted that all guys are going to watch porn, check out woman's, make woman into trophies and rate their worth based on what they look like or can do.
Now, I'm not trying to say this is just a guys issue. I know there aren't as many girls who are addicted to porn as guys, but they are definitely out there. Not to mention, we are the girls who let ourselves be rated, become trophies, or believe that our purpose is to put out and please guys. We dress and act in a way to attract men, as if our very validation comes from how many guys heads turn when we walk down the street.
I believe that we have all lowered ourselves to a level below what we deserve or should have. You see, I think we need to stop settling for what we feel is the norm.
What would happen if girls stopped dressing to turn heads, but instead to show their feminity in a attractive an non-sexual way. What if guys stopped treating woman as objects, and sizing up every girl that walked by them. What if they stopped viewing girl's bodies as public property, and girls stopped viewing guys as objects to validate themselves. What if when a guy actually was with a girl, and he held her hand and told her she was beautiful, he didn't have any ulterior motives of getting something from her. And he honored her because he valued her.
I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but when a guy tell me that I'm hot, and then turns around and checks out the girl behind me, or expects me to give something in return because it's my job. I'm not really flattered.
What if we all stopped ignoring the large elephant in the room, and started addressing it. What if we called each other to higher standards, to treating people as real human beings not objects. I don't know how much more degrading you can get, then when you turn a woman into an object to please your desires. In that moment she no longer becomes a person, she is just an object, and you have treated her as such. The same goes for guys. So often I hear girls walking around talking about who's hot and who they want. How degrading, to reduce guys to objects that we go after to please ourselves, based on their looks.
There are enough studies that have been done that show that watching porn, or the variety of things that run along those lines is very detrimental...especially when you are in a real relationship some day and married to the man or woman of your dreams. Memories don't die, especially when they are burned into our mind with pictures. And please...don't tell me that you have needs that you just have to fill, and justify it that way.
I know some of you will agree with what this post says in words...however, in actions you won't back up what you say is right. I'm sick of guys viewing girls and treating them as objects...I am sure guys can say the same thing about us girls. I'm also tierd of people who pretend this isn't a problem. Stop settling...open your eyes and don't candy-coat the world because it's easier to deal with that way.
But those are just my thoughts...and I'm just a girl preaching to the choir.
Labels: Controversial Issues
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
I have been mulling over an idea in my head for a few weeks now, and to be honest I haven't come to a complete conclusion on this subject. My question is, has the church become too user friendly?
A big part of why this question came to the forefront of my mind recently, was due to a speaker we had in our church a few weeks ago. He is the pastor of a church plant that meets on Friday nights. The reason they meet Friday nights is due to the fact that many people work Sunday's and cannot make church, so they wanted to make it more convenient and accessible for people to attend church.
Now, something in that entire process stuck out in my head. I do believe the church should be reaching out to those around them. I think that if your church is not growing, you really need to ask some hard questions as to how you are doing things. We have been commanded by God to reach out to those around us, and spread the good news of the Bible. However, I feel like perhaps we've tried to make our churches so user friendly that we have watered down our convictions or tried to do away with having convictions on controversial topics in order to not offend. We've tried to make the church service something for non-churched people to feel comfortable in. We've brought in entertainment, shaken up the order of service, cracked more jokes, and focused on engaging people.
I'm not in any way condemning the church for having services on Friday evening. I don't believe that the day of the week is the most important, I think it's just important to be setting aside a day for God, and living out each day for God. We shouldn't be trying to fit God into our lives where we have space, but rather be living our lives with Christ at the center, and everything else rotating around that.
At the end of the day, Christianity is not convenient. It's not meant to be easy. In fact, there are numerous Bible verses that talk about being persecuted for your faith, or having to sacrifice things that you hold on to in order to serve God better. It kind of seems like we might be giving out conflicting messages when we try to bring church to the world's level, instead of teaching people that God is a holy God that demands respect.
I'm not saying by this that I think we should walk around with long serious faces, and never have fun. I truly believe there is great joy in knowing that your future is secure in God. I think that there is also a balance when it comes to church, you want people to be able to understand what is being preached, and be able to apply it to their lives. Like always there are two sides to the road, and churches must be careful not to fall into either side but rather balance along the center.
A big part of why this question came to the forefront of my mind recently, was due to a speaker we had in our church a few weeks ago. He is the pastor of a church plant that meets on Friday nights. The reason they meet Friday nights is due to the fact that many people work Sunday's and cannot make church, so they wanted to make it more convenient and accessible for people to attend church.
Now, something in that entire process stuck out in my head. I do believe the church should be reaching out to those around them. I think that if your church is not growing, you really need to ask some hard questions as to how you are doing things. We have been commanded by God to reach out to those around us, and spread the good news of the Bible. However, I feel like perhaps we've tried to make our churches so user friendly that we have watered down our convictions or tried to do away with having convictions on controversial topics in order to not offend. We've tried to make the church service something for non-churched people to feel comfortable in. We've brought in entertainment, shaken up the order of service, cracked more jokes, and focused on engaging people.
I'm not in any way condemning the church for having services on Friday evening. I don't believe that the day of the week is the most important, I think it's just important to be setting aside a day for God, and living out each day for God. We shouldn't be trying to fit God into our lives where we have space, but rather be living our lives with Christ at the center, and everything else rotating around that.
At the end of the day, Christianity is not convenient. It's not meant to be easy. In fact, there are numerous Bible verses that talk about being persecuted for your faith, or having to sacrifice things that you hold on to in order to serve God better. It kind of seems like we might be giving out conflicting messages when we try to bring church to the world's level, instead of teaching people that God is a holy God that demands respect.
I'm not saying by this that I think we should walk around with long serious faces, and never have fun. I truly believe there is great joy in knowing that your future is secure in God. I think that there is also a balance when it comes to church, you want people to be able to understand what is being preached, and be able to apply it to their lives. Like always there are two sides to the road, and churches must be careful not to fall into either side but rather balance along the center.
Labels: Controversial Issues
Friday, August 10, 2007
I blame this song on Jello's country influence on me. I mean, I hate country - it's pretty much the only type of music I won't listen to. But, after being forced to stand for 8 1/2 hours in one spot to listen to 5 country musicians, and then travel for almost two weeks in a car with a country fan - a song or two may get stuck in your head. Now, realize that this is NOT me saying that I've become a country fan...it just means, this song reminds me of the road trip, and makes me wonder if guys like this still exist...or if it's just a country song, much like the chick flicks in which everything works out perfectly. I'll let you decide:
She left without leavin' a number
Said she needed to clear her mind
He figured she'd gone back to Austin
'Cause she talked about it all the time
It was almost a year before she called him up
Three rings and an answering machine is what she got
If you're callin' 'bout the car I sold it
If this is Tuesday night I'm bowling
If you've got somethin' to sell, you're wastin' your time, I'm not buyin'
If it's anybody else, wait for the tone,
You know what to do
And P.S. if this is Austin, I still love you
The telephone fell to the counter
She heard but she couldn't believe
What kind of man would hang on that long
What kind of love that must be
She waited three days, and then she tried again
She didn't know what she'd say,
But she heard three rings and then
If it's Friday night I'm at the ballgame
And first thing Saturday, if it don't rain
I'm headed out to the lake
And I'll be gone, all weekend long
But I'll call you back when I get home
On Sunday afternoon
And P.S. If this is Austin, I still love you
This time she left her number
But not another word
Then she waited by the phone on Sunday evenin'
And this is what he heard
If you're callin' 'bout my heart
It's still yours
I should've listened to it a little more
Then it wouldn't have taken me so long to know where I belong
And by the way, boy, this is no machine you're talkin' to
Can't you tell, this is Austin, and I still love you
I still love you
She left without leavin' a number
Said she needed to clear her mind
He figured she'd gone back to Austin
'Cause she talked about it all the time
It was almost a year before she called him up
Three rings and an answering machine is what she got
If you're callin' 'bout the car I sold it
If this is Tuesday night I'm bowling
If you've got somethin' to sell, you're wastin' your time, I'm not buyin'
If it's anybody else, wait for the tone,
You know what to do
And P.S. if this is Austin, I still love you
The telephone fell to the counter
She heard but she couldn't believe
What kind of man would hang on that long
What kind of love that must be
She waited three days, and then she tried again
She didn't know what she'd say,
But she heard three rings and then
If it's Friday night I'm at the ballgame
And first thing Saturday, if it don't rain
I'm headed out to the lake
And I'll be gone, all weekend long
But I'll call you back when I get home
On Sunday afternoon
And P.S. If this is Austin, I still love you
This time she left her number
But not another word
Then she waited by the phone on Sunday evenin'
And this is what he heard
If you're callin' 'bout my heart
It's still yours
I should've listened to it a little more
Then it wouldn't have taken me so long to know where I belong
And by the way, boy, this is no machine you're talkin' to
Can't you tell, this is Austin, and I still love you
I still love you
Labels: Music