Sunday, August 13, 2006
I suppose this post is being written due to a combination of things, some of it being past circumstances, some of it conversations with various people, such as Steve, and some of it due to growing up and being involved in the church. The question I asked myself this morning, as I sat in another new church surrounded by people I did not know, was this: "Why are we so afraid to be honest with ourselves and others."
Now, I realize that there are many explanations to that question, such as our pride, being afraid of hurt, and using non-honesty as a defence mechanism. But putting aside all those reasons that we use so readily as excuses not to change our lives....why is it that we generally do not even attempt to be honest about who we are. Instead, we create people who appear to be perfect.
I sat in this church this morning, and looked around at the faces in the chairs beside me...do you know what I saw. I saw a bunch of smiling faces, nicely dressed up for the service, singing the songs, and appearing to have everything together. Now, I realize it is an unfair judgement for me to pass on a bunch of people that I have never met before, and say that they are not honest. But I would venture to guess, that a lot of them put effort into appearing to have everything together.
I have grown up in the church my entire life, and I must say that many christians are not honest with each other or their feelings. Almost as if it is a crime when you don't have your life all perfectly together. I mean, what will people think if they see you struggling with something in your life. So we become artists and actors, perfecting our ability to disguise and act.
I know all this, because I do the very same thing in my own life. Once again, as I write a post about something that is running through my head, I realize that I end up preaching that very thing to myself. But the thing I can say to this important issue, is that when I do come across a person who is not afraid to be honest with who they are, and does not spend every minute worrying about what others might think.....I find that person to be an extremely fresh breath of air in my life. I envy what they have, and I crave to be more like them.
I am trying to be most honest about who I am, my struggles, my joys, and the real Mary who is burried underneath of a lot of baggage most days. I can only pray that those who are around me realize that I don't want perfect people in my life, no one does - we want people who are not afraid to be honest, who let us see them at their worst, and love them for who they really and truly are.
Now, I realize that there are many explanations to that question, such as our pride, being afraid of hurt, and using non-honesty as a defence mechanism. But putting aside all those reasons that we use so readily as excuses not to change our lives....why is it that we generally do not even attempt to be honest about who we are. Instead, we create people who appear to be perfect.
I sat in this church this morning, and looked around at the faces in the chairs beside me...do you know what I saw. I saw a bunch of smiling faces, nicely dressed up for the service, singing the songs, and appearing to have everything together. Now, I realize it is an unfair judgement for me to pass on a bunch of people that I have never met before, and say that they are not honest. But I would venture to guess, that a lot of them put effort into appearing to have everything together.
I have grown up in the church my entire life, and I must say that many christians are not honest with each other or their feelings. Almost as if it is a crime when you don't have your life all perfectly together. I mean, what will people think if they see you struggling with something in your life. So we become artists and actors, perfecting our ability to disguise and act.
I know all this, because I do the very same thing in my own life. Once again, as I write a post about something that is running through my head, I realize that I end up preaching that very thing to myself. But the thing I can say to this important issue, is that when I do come across a person who is not afraid to be honest with who they are, and does not spend every minute worrying about what others might think.....I find that person to be an extremely fresh breath of air in my life. I envy what they have, and I crave to be more like them.
I am trying to be most honest about who I am, my struggles, my joys, and the real Mary who is burried underneath of a lot of baggage most days. I can only pray that those who are around me realize that I don't want perfect people in my life, no one does - we want people who are not afraid to be honest, who let us see them at their worst, and love them for who they really and truly are.