Sunday, September 18, 2005
I am restlest tonight, fingers tapping a forsaken tune out on these old keys, trying to keep up with the thoughts racing through my head. They never told me life could be this twisted; pushing you under the water so many times that you forget where the sky is. It seemed so easy before, sandboxes and dolls, as if life was some joyful occasion that floated you through your existance. Somehow, between now and then, reality struck and the picture that you had painted before became blury - maybe it was those tears in your eyes again, clouding your vision, obstructing the end goal. On paper it all seemed so simple, you grow, you laugh, you chose, you love, you live, you die. It also seemed less adventerous on paper, so clearcut and there.
Seomtimes I wonder if I would really change it if I could. If I would sacrifice the unknown for some simple calculation. Today, I think I would, just to know.
I hate how life can sap the joy out of us...I thought that today as I listened to yet another sermon about the trials and hardness. Oh yes, I will be the first to admit that it's hard, but at the same time, where is the joy people....I need some of that joy right now....and I hope it does not elude me for long.
Seomtimes I wonder if I would really change it if I could. If I would sacrifice the unknown for some simple calculation. Today, I think I would, just to know.
I hate how life can sap the joy out of us...I thought that today as I listened to yet another sermon about the trials and hardness. Oh yes, I will be the first to admit that it's hard, but at the same time, where is the joy people....I need some of that joy right now....and I hope it does not elude me for long.