Tuesday, March 15, 2005
So, I have been considering the possibility of moving out and getting my own apartment. I want to do some travelling and such - you know the things you want to do but have never done and all of the sudden you wake up one morning and go "goodness, I'm almost 19 - time to start cracking" (or something like that:). I figure I might take a maternity leave position somewhere - which will be for a year duration, give me a chance to see how lucky I was to live at home, and whatnot.
So, I thought my parents would widly protest to this, cause like they are a little protective at moments and have a hard time letting go at other moments. Well, Sunday night I decided to pop the idea and see how it blew over - or got blown up. That is when the odd thing happened - it was like they were glad I was considering moving out - they smiled, giggled like little school children - and pulled out this large book which had pictures of couples touring the world in expensive vehicles, cruise trips, and tropical places.
You know when you want to do something - and part of the appeal is that you think it is living on the edge and being daring - and then someone says sure, go ahead and do it, it's not like we are expecting you to be at home forever. Suddenly the daring, living on the edge thrill disapears and you suddenly feel less drawn to the idea. That is what it is like for me. So yah, I am not sure what I am going to do - there are benefits to living at home.....
On a different note - I am discovering a lot about myself lately. Not exactly always the nicest trips, but I think that it is a good thing every once in a while. I have noticed that I am very critical - not only of myself but also of other people. I think my criticalness in which I judge myself flows out to those around me. This struck me as I was walking behind a girl to class the other day - it was really cold out and she was wearing practically no clothes. I was talking to myself in my head - saying, wow, I really hope she gets frostbite on her stomach, and wow, I can't believe she is wearing jeans like that when she has hips like that. Suddenly, I realized that I was being ultra critical and judging her by the standards that I hate to be judged by. I had bought into the worlds opinion of what someone should look like, and even though I rebel against that idea - I was pressing it on others. It was sad.
So yah, I am trying to be less critical - more appreciative and stop focusing on such petty things. THough, I do wonder if she got frostbite on her stomach:)
So, I thought my parents would widly protest to this, cause like they are a little protective at moments and have a hard time letting go at other moments. Well, Sunday night I decided to pop the idea and see how it blew over - or got blown up. That is when the odd thing happened - it was like they were glad I was considering moving out - they smiled, giggled like little school children - and pulled out this large book which had pictures of couples touring the world in expensive vehicles, cruise trips, and tropical places.
You know when you want to do something - and part of the appeal is that you think it is living on the edge and being daring - and then someone says sure, go ahead and do it, it's not like we are expecting you to be at home forever. Suddenly the daring, living on the edge thrill disapears and you suddenly feel less drawn to the idea. That is what it is like for me. So yah, I am not sure what I am going to do - there are benefits to living at home.....
On a different note - I am discovering a lot about myself lately. Not exactly always the nicest trips, but I think that it is a good thing every once in a while. I have noticed that I am very critical - not only of myself but also of other people. I think my criticalness in which I judge myself flows out to those around me. This struck me as I was walking behind a girl to class the other day - it was really cold out and she was wearing practically no clothes. I was talking to myself in my head - saying, wow, I really hope she gets frostbite on her stomach, and wow, I can't believe she is wearing jeans like that when she has hips like that. Suddenly, I realized that I was being ultra critical and judging her by the standards that I hate to be judged by. I had bought into the worlds opinion of what someone should look like, and even though I rebel against that idea - I was pressing it on others. It was sad.
So yah, I am trying to be less critical - more appreciative and stop focusing on such petty things. THough, I do wonder if she got frostbite on her stomach:)