Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Do you ever have it where you get so mad, yet you are unable to counter attack whatever is standing in your path and making you so upset? Yet afterwards, you sit there and all the creative comebacks rush through your mind like cold water, and you think to yourself, how could I be left feeling so upset and yet unable to say what I wanted to say.
I have that all the time, something, or more specifically someone, will attack me in someway and I am left speachless. I hate that outright conflict silences me and leaves me feeling like a five-year-old child being punished for something she did not do wrong.
This happened to me today.....I was walking down Main Street on the way to an interview. As I came to a street crossing, I started to cross due to me having the advance light (no I was not jay walking - otherwise this post wouldn't be happening:). I stepped out into the street, only to pause because a pushy driver making a left hand turn was nosing into the interesection. I was unaware if he saw me since he was waiting for a mother and her two children to cross the street. He then stopped moving, so I started moving, assuming he realized I was crossing. Instead, he stopped, yelled at me about how I couldn't read and I was going to get myself killed trying to cross the road like that and such.
I was so mad, because it was clearly my advance, yet I couldn't say a word. As he drove away I hit the back of his vehicle really hard with my hand because I was so upset, instantly wondering if I could be sued for that (I need to get out of the legal field).
So hear I sit, with a thousand comebacks in my mind - yet it really doesn't matter anymore - for that man most likely told a story around his supper table about the crazy woman in black crossing the street who was so in the wrong she had nothing to say.
I have that all the time, something, or more specifically someone, will attack me in someway and I am left speachless. I hate that outright conflict silences me and leaves me feeling like a five-year-old child being punished for something she did not do wrong.
This happened to me today.....I was walking down Main Street on the way to an interview. As I came to a street crossing, I started to cross due to me having the advance light (no I was not jay walking - otherwise this post wouldn't be happening:). I stepped out into the street, only to pause because a pushy driver making a left hand turn was nosing into the interesection. I was unaware if he saw me since he was waiting for a mother and her two children to cross the street. He then stopped moving, so I started moving, assuming he realized I was crossing. Instead, he stopped, yelled at me about how I couldn't read and I was going to get myself killed trying to cross the road like that and such.
I was so mad, because it was clearly my advance, yet I couldn't say a word. As he drove away I hit the back of his vehicle really hard with my hand because I was so upset, instantly wondering if I could be sued for that (I need to get out of the legal field).
So hear I sit, with a thousand comebacks in my mind - yet it really doesn't matter anymore - for that man most likely told a story around his supper table about the crazy woman in black crossing the street who was so in the wrong she had nothing to say.