Wednesday, November 17, 2004
and I have my grouchiest face on just to prove it to you. My week has been slightly stressful, not only school but other things, and I am feeling a little stretched. Like you know how after baby stretch marks look so terrible, well I feel stretched like that - a bad thing.
Like has been a little crazy lately - not always a bad thing, but I feel a little overwhelmed at the moment. I have school stuff coming out of my ears (which on the positive side - my presentation went well this morning!), and I feel like I am not catching up.
Besides all that, I just don't seem to have time to spend working on evangelism, youth group, or other things like that which are more important then school really.
I went into the law field, not for the money, so that I could make a difference - yet I feel like I am being swallowed up in the money aspect and not the helping people, changing lives aspect. The focus seems to be the money here, and it is hard not to swallow that focus. The Mohawk teachers are constantly referring to the money we will hopefully make - like really how empty is that.
My devo life isn't what is should be. And I think of how much Christ did for me and it is quite discouraging at my response. I was listening to a sermon tape on the way to school yesterday and it was about Christ love and how we are to show love to those around us. And I was like wow, I really don't even mirror that love to those around me.
Like if you think that some people may never enter a church, or hear about Christ and you are the only person that they will see that "mirrors" Him. How scary and convicting is a thought like that. Like to them, I am Christ. That is quite freakafying. If I think of how often I mess up, or the millions of times that I don't use opportunities to witness when I could - its horrifying.
Sometimes your sin just hits you in the face and it blows you away. Grrrrr, then it makes me grouchy that I am not balancing things or using the opportunities that I am given.
Like in the grand scheme of things - what is the most important things in life? I would say Christ first - your relationship with him and your ministry, then relationships with others, etc.. So, why do we lose focus so often?
But after all that whining, I am happy - really:) Just a little discouraged with my humanness at moments such as these. And convicted once again - always a good thing - like ice cream with apple pie - or something like that:)
Like has been a little crazy lately - not always a bad thing, but I feel a little overwhelmed at the moment. I have school stuff coming out of my ears (which on the positive side - my presentation went well this morning!), and I feel like I am not catching up.
Besides all that, I just don't seem to have time to spend working on evangelism, youth group, or other things like that which are more important then school really.
I went into the law field, not for the money, so that I could make a difference - yet I feel like I am being swallowed up in the money aspect and not the helping people, changing lives aspect. The focus seems to be the money here, and it is hard not to swallow that focus. The Mohawk teachers are constantly referring to the money we will hopefully make - like really how empty is that.
My devo life isn't what is should be. And I think of how much Christ did for me and it is quite discouraging at my response. I was listening to a sermon tape on the way to school yesterday and it was about Christ love and how we are to show love to those around us. And I was like wow, I really don't even mirror that love to those around me.
Like if you think that some people may never enter a church, or hear about Christ and you are the only person that they will see that "mirrors" Him. How scary and convicting is a thought like that. Like to them, I am Christ. That is quite freakafying. If I think of how often I mess up, or the millions of times that I don't use opportunities to witness when I could - its horrifying.
Sometimes your sin just hits you in the face and it blows you away. Grrrrr, then it makes me grouchy that I am not balancing things or using the opportunities that I am given.
Like in the grand scheme of things - what is the most important things in life? I would say Christ first - your relationship with him and your ministry, then relationships with others, etc.. So, why do we lose focus so often?
But after all that whining, I am happy - really:) Just a little discouraged with my humanness at moments such as these. And convicted once again - always a good thing - like ice cream with apple pie - or something like that:)